Inclusion is when everyone can be who they are and together you form a community. But that is not how inclusion seems to work in today’s world. It seems more to be about ‘participation’ which is like ‘adapt to our way of life so you can join us’. I am 54, and only since the past 7 years have I sought professional help (beyond psychologists, which I have had since I was 15). And in those 7 years I have noticed a disturbing pattern of something I can only describe as victim-blaming. It’s like they say “we have methods and systems, if they don’t work; well, that’s because of you.” The system seems built around avoidance of responsibility; pushing consequences down instead of up. They keep moving the goalposts and gaslight when you confront them. I don;t know how to deal with it anymore.
I struggle with existentialism, mostly since 2020, but also my upbringing.
Since 2020 I kinda just realized everything is bullshit. I used to think everything was bullshit before 2020, but 2020 and the years since seem to shove it in our faces that [America] actually is bullshit. It’s just like… Trying to point out a car accident right in front of someone and them not being able to see it.
I don’t see any order and when there is order it’s only for those that profit from the rules. No one actually helps ime even if it’s their profession. Going to my states mental health program made me feel like such a criminal. And they did nothing to help.
I empathise with your existentialism. I have had that my whole life as well. It is the root cause of my depressions. “Funny” thing is, that in my country (not America), psychologists are not trained to deal with such issues. As soon as I bring up the concept and talk about the pointlessness of life they say I am too philosophical and they cannot talk about philosophy. And then they go on about e.g. the “self” and “free will” and “self-control” and “responsibility”, and when I then point out to them that those concepts are based on philosophical ideas from the era of enlightenment but never scientifically proven to exist, they defend it by saying it is the “norm”, I point out to them that a “norm” is by definition non-inclusive. At which point I am labelled “difficult” and “non-cooperative”.
Same. They tell me don’t try to change things out of my control when their entire view of life is forcefully controlling people to fit their image of what they believe humanity is. Not to mention I grew up around crime and nobody understands that side of life at all. It’s like …oh so I just watch people rob me and let the cops not do anything?..
A lot of “methods” to deal with autism aren’t meant to help autistic people feel at ease, it’s to condition them to not bother neurotypicals.
Hence masking.
I hear you. I’ve been called a “loner” and “different” my whole life. Sometimes people called me a “rebel” and a “troublemaker”. Turns out I’m autistic. Yay me.
And society at large likes to play by rules made up and enforced by itself. Us autistic people aren’t included in those. And thus we wind up trying really hard to play by the rules, only to find out others don’t… and they don’t face any consequences.
If the rules exist to keep me in check, but everyone else gets to roam free, it isn’t personal responsibility. Instead, it’s a failure of society at large to recognize us and accommodate us equally and fairly.
And… that’s why I’m into politics.
