5 points
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I would have organised my followers into an army to liberate Palestine from the Romans.
34 “Do not suppose that I [Jesus] have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. (Matthew 10:34)
36 [Jesus] said to them, “But now if you have a purse, take it, and also a bag; and if you don’t have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one. (Luke 22:36)
In the story he tried, didn’t work unfortunately
4 points
Jesus didn’t come back to life he was just a big fan of “The Prestige”
one mom, two dads and twelve boyfriends.
Gonna keep the vow of celibacy stuff so that when the priests and monks and shit show up in heaven I can be like “Nah I was just fucking with you guys, sex is awesome actually lmao.”
i’d do another flood, easy.
7 points
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