Caption: When you ask an Autistic person to do something, make sure to attach a timeframe like âtoday,â âor at 3 PM,â (avoiding demanding words like ânowâ) and a definite personalization of who needs to do the thing that is being suggested. If one or both of these things is missing from your request, we will not see them as a request, but a passive statement, and it will not get done.
Image: 2 panels with an alien speaking to a person. One panel is labeled âincorrectâ and the other âcorrectâ.
Incorrect: The alienâs statement is written in a bubble shaped like an arrow. It points from the alienâs mouth to the personâs ear, stating, âThe trash needs to be taken out.â There is another empty arrow pointing out of the personâs other ear.
Correct: The alienâs statement is written in a similar arrow, stating, âPlease take the trash out in a minute.â The person responds, âSure.â There is no other arrow pointing out of the personâs other ear.
My partner will ask me to do something. I will agree and since Iâm usually doing something else at the time, I will continue to do that thing. Then 10 minutes later she gets huffy and does the thing. Iâve been trying to follow up her requests with âNow or when Iâm finished?â but it depends how distracted I am whether or not I remember to ask.
One evening for dinner as a change, I asked my 11 year old Aspergers son âdo you fancy a walk to McDonaldâs for dinner tonight?â
He said no, which puzzled me because he loves McDonaldâs.
But of course I said "do you fancy a walk " which he didnât.
This is our entire workplace. Delegation to the air is very common. âSomeone should look after xyz while Iâm gone. Bye!â
While âSomeoneâ is a weird name, they do all the work around here.
The flip side is when we accidentally train ourselves to be a people pleaser by treating every âupdateâ like in panel 1 as a direct request and end up doing ridiculous things because we think itâs expected of us.
I think you have this backwards lol. This applies more to non-autistics. If you ask them something like âTake the trash outâ, they can get all aggro.