Please commit to your words and actions. Commit to the fucking turn you were going to make right in front of me, before stamping on the brakes at the last second. Commit to a fight after challenging me on not risking my life around your shitty driving.
Do I “want to fucking go”? You have no idea how much I want to fucking go. I have to cycle around idiots like you all day, if you step out of your armoured wankmobile i am going to sink my teeth into your flesh and not let go. I will bite your flabby fucking tits off. I will beat you with my fists and helmet and entire fucking bike until a kind samaritan pulls over to drag me away from your limp body.
Anyway, if I ever mysteriously stop posting you should be able to dox me by googling “cyclist eats driver UK”.
Tangent. I bicycle and additionally I have an e-bike I use to get around town and buy groceries. For whatever reason, drivers I swear are trying to kill me when I’m on my e-bike. It’s like the fact I can go 25mph sets off some sort of deep combustible engine hate.
Mine does 30 mph and I take the “lane” on 25 mph residential streets, I still occasionally have drivers pass me. It doesn’t matter that I’m riding over the speed limit, people see a bicycle and it triggers some primal instinct that they absolutely must get in front of you.
I suspect the only reason no one has challenged me to a duel yet is that I’m a somewhat fit 190 lb man instead of a woman or someone’s grandpa. Still ride with pepper spray just in case someone decides they want to play a game of “Jail or Hospital”.
Am I the only person who just respects cyclists in the lane as if they were any other vehicle? Sometimes car-brains are going 15 in a 40 and I’m not trying to run them off the road, why would I do any different for the unarmored squish-vehicle? 90% of the time they just move into an empty parking line to let cars by, anyway. I cannot fathom the mind of the average driver.
One of them did once. So I grabbed my bike lock which is fucking massive. He took one look at it and silently got back in his truck and drove away.
Not so big when I have a weapon in my hand that will crack your skull, apparently.
It always baffles me how brave people are in vehicles yelling at cyclists, when it’s so expensive to pull dents and respray.
You know how cowboys have those little star shaped things on their shoes to kick their horse to go faster?
Those but side mounted to ruin a cars paint job.
A bike but it was made by Q at Q-lab with retractable side blades that come out of the wheel.
Like, really car driver? Just to retouch your paint job on a single panel is worth more than my bike and I’m definitely fitter than you.
No driver dared cut them off, no one dared to give the bird a flip
For the cyclist there among them had a big iron on their hip
🎵 Big Iron on their hip 🎶
