106 points

When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art. You should now feel mentally invigorated.

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21 points

If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music.

[MUSIC INTERRUPTED BY BUZZER]

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2 points

ooh i hope series 2 is good

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-1 points

explain th joke plz

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1 point

Portal 2 intro

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83 points
*

This looks like, and “Wellness room” sounds like, a gender neutral term for a lactation room.

The description in that Wikipedia article sounds much nicer and more elaborate than what we actually had at my last office.

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45 points

Also sounds much nicer than “crying room” or “panic attack room”

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32 points

This hangs outside at the door:

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37 points

That all sounded very wholesome until Wikipedia mentioned that it was instead of maternity leave…

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21 points
*

Precisely what this is, with the added benefit (to the company) of being used as a prayer room or other various employee needs.

Converting storage to these private/meditation/wellness (corporation dependant branding for them) rooms has been very common.

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7 points

Imagine the conflict when the woman who needs to pump breast milk and the man who needs to spread his prayer mat and pray meet at the door.

Although I guess it would be easily solved by him putting on a sleep mask. (Earplugs if he finds the squirt squirt of breast milk arousing or distracting.) Or if the entry door is on the East end of the room.

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4 points

They are typically reserved rooms, so they would just select a different space to book.

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3 points

Why would the woman want to pump in the room with a co-worker? Don’t know, feels like your trying to imply something about the man here. Or am I missing something?

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1 point

Well, the woman would easily win the ADA federal lawsuit, that’s for sure. That’s like, lifetime vacation time!

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-1 points

Although I guess it would be easily solved by him putting on a sleep mask. (Earplugs if he finds the squirt squirt of breast milk arousing or distracting.) Or if the entry door is on the East end of the room.

I will pay you 10 dollars to delete this sentence and never say it again

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5 points

Those do usually need a fridge and sink though. Not sure if it’s a code requirement, but all the ones I’ve seen had that.

Might be why the call it a ‘wellness room’, instead of a mothers room; doesn’t meet the legal requirements.

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6 points

Maybe it varies state by state. This is what I found when looking for federal requirements:

a place, other than a bathroom, that is shielded from view and free from intrusion from coworkers and the public, which may be used by an employee to express milk

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4 points

Yep that’s exactly what this is.

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50 points
*

My former employer had a relaxation room that looked like this.
It was sound-proof and had a massage chair in it.

The door to the room was within direct line of sight of the boss’s desk.
I tried going in there once, but the boss called me over and gave me more work.

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41 points

Your former boss is an asshole.

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35 points

It was sound-proof

Ah. The Scream Closet.

but the boss called me over

Ah, the ol’ Sci-Fi classic: I Have A Scream Closet, But I Cannot Scream.

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1 point

The Scream Closet Ending was my favorite.

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39 points

The first thing I did the moment I saw this was imagine seeing this in Portal, and hearing GLaDOS say something like “Welcome to the Aperture Science wellness room, where test subjects can de-stress after a long day of testing”

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13 points

“Please commence relaxing.”

BZZZZZT

“You should now be rejuvenated.”

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39 points

This is some real life Severance shit.

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9 points

I might be into it though if Reileen Kawahara will come in and tell me what a good boy my Outie is.

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3 points

Please refrain from expressing desires or preferences, that’s ten points off. You have 90 points remaining.

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2 points

Please enjoy each fact equally.

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1 point

I was thinking the exact same thing. The weird length makes it feel menacing.

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