161 points

As a former cashier (grocery store not walmart admittedly, but I doubt things are that different), I dont think weird uses for the items are the way to go, the cashier is barely even going to notice or care what you’re buying. what I bring to freak out the cashier, are some item that needs ID to buy, some big heavy item with the barcode removed so that it will take a bunch of lifting and turning in a hopeless effort to find it before someone eventually has to go find another one and bring it over, and a propane refill if walmart does those (at my grocery store the process to go find a full one was a pain, especially in the winter since they were outside). Further, I try to buy these items with the help of a ton of expired and unexpired coupons mixed together, several gift cards, and a stubborn half-deaf old person who wont take no for an answer.

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104 points

You are a fucking monster. The point of this was to have some laughs not cause a poor walmart employee to beat their spouse or off them selves. Damn you’re cruel.

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57 points

Hey, it could always get worse. I could also specify that these items are purchased on a Sunday that a locally favored football team happens to be playing a game, during the rush of people buying snacks and soda.

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15 points

ಠ_ಠ

ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ)

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻)

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24 points

Would it be more or less frustrating if instead of an old person, it’s a middle aged person who clearly doesn’t understand the language but keeps smiling and nodding as if you’re on the same page and any time you try to prompt for information, they encouragingly push their items towards you or try to pay you in a currency you don’t recognize?

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5 points

A bit less, partly because it’s easier to be sympathetic to those people, and partly because, in my experience, it can be helped by getting out google translate on one’s phone, if one can figure out which language it is

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5 points

How make a cashier consider on the job suicide

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4 points

What aisle has the half-dead old person

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1 point

In my Walmart there is one in every aisle directly in front of what I want scratching their ass and adjusting their teeth.

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66 points

I’m going with the classic:

Pringles can

Gloves

Sponge

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24 points

Going in dry I see

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8 points

Once you pop, the fun don’t stop. Shit’s getting chafed up in this bitch

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52 points

Webcam, cactus and KY

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54 points

You can’t buy Kentucky at Walmart.

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21 points

Oh, I thought they sold it by the Florida ounce

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5 points

I hope you are trying to be slick

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6 points

Swap cactus for mason jar

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38 points
*

How to end up on a watchlist:

Pressure cooker, nails, prepaid phone

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5 points
*

Casio F-91W watch, soldering iron, electronics wire.

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4 points

You’re going to hang up balloons and cook a homemade meal for your SO on their birthday, and surprise them with a new phone

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36 points

Gun, bleach, get well card.

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