So many upvotes and no comments because none of us know what to add to a perfect Onion article. It’s short and sweet, too.
Can someone get me a pic of this Simon guy so I can understand the joke. I am prohibited from using search engines by the demon that has taken over my soul.
The old king of the beavers.
https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrities/simon-cowell/
After looking at more photos to see if I could find something worse than what was in the article, I noticed that he has the same weird smile in alot of his photos. It’s like he’s purposely just exposing his top teeth when he smiles. I’m assuming it’s a sort of “rehearsed” smile he can pull out whenever he needs to, because celebrities are just expected to be “on” all the time, but it looks weirder the more I look at it. I’m not entirely certain what a “normal” smile is supposed to look like, but that’s not it.
