I personally would want people who I know and love while I am alive to forget me and move on with their lives after my death.
It’s like I would be happier in whatever is in the after life to see the people who I cared about happy with their lives, instead of getting sad whenever they remember me or worse yet, remembering me on yearly basis after I am gone.
I genuinely find it very illogical and selfish for people to want everyone to never forget them long after they are gone, especially due to the pain that come with memories.
That is why I am curious about the reason.
They feel it’s a validation that their lives mattered. If your loved ones forget you five minutes after you die, it’s like you made zero impact on them. Your life meant nothing.
I don’t think anyone expects survivors to sit around grieving and remembering them nonstop for years and years. That would be narcissistic in the extreme. But it’s not expecting too much to hope people will think fondly of you once in a while.
I lost a friend to covid. When something reminds me of him, I take a moment to appreciate his memory. Pushing it away or distracting myself to forget him would not make me happier.
Ego. Knowing that your name will still be referenced after you’re gone means it wasn’t all for nothing.
You seem to think there are only two outcomes: completely forgotten, or remembered with profound sadness. Those are the self-imposed limitations of one who can’t come to terms with death. Choosing to forget loved ones is a slight to their entire existence. It’s time to realign your thinking. Remember those who have passed on with happiness and joy for what they were. Let their memory bring a smile to your face. That’s how I remember and how I hope to be remembered. Choose celebration not despair.
Death Is Nothing At All, By Henry Scott Holland
Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.
All is well.
Maybe ask the person who said they wanted to be remembered?
Like anything else, the reasons for something are personal. It’s like asking someone why they like chocolate ice cream.
What, are you kidding? It’s chocolate ice cream! How does one NOT understand the appeal of chocolate ice cream???
Well, I guess if you’re allergic to delicious.