93 points

if the corpse is in a location that I can feasibly observe within swimming distance, it’s a problem.

so let’s say there’s a swimming pool shaped like an L, but one of the legs of that L is LOOOOOOOONG and the other is a short little stub.

If I am at the end of the long leg and the corpse is around the corner in the short stub, it would require me to swim all the way to the corner to observe it, and if that distance is longer than I can swim, then I will probably be ok.

If I am in the little stub of the L, and line of sight observation of the corpse is just a few strokes to the corner, I WILL NOT BE OK.

It’s also a matter of relative mass.

If the pool had a drowned mouse in it, I will be sad. I might leave the water until the corpse is removed and then return to the water after it’s gone through the filtration system for a little bit (a few minutes).

If the pool had a drowned squirrel in it, I will be alarmed. I will definitely leave the water and refuse to enter until the corpse has been gone for at least a few hours of filtration.

If the pool has a drowned raccoon, cat, fox, or small dog it it, I will be upset. I’m out of the water and concerned that nobody told me first, and I’m not going back in for the rest of the day.

If the pool has a drowned medium sized dog, coyote, baby goat, infant or toddler, or animal of similar mass in it, I’ll be downright angry. I’m not going to that pool for a week, or maybe even a month.

Once the corpse in question reaches the mass of an adolescent human, I’m gone from that pool for the remainder of its open season.

If an adult human or larger died or was dumped in that pool, I’m never going to that pool again.

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51 points

You’ve put an absurd amount of thought into this, and I appreciate that.

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17 points

Working third shift where the majority of my duties are waiting for a phone to ring and babysitting an empty building lest it burn down while nobody’s watching leaves me with more Noggin Time than most people have, so I appreciate you providing me with something to meditate upon :3

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17 points

Raccoons also pose a greater risk than the others mentioned because their feces can contain a specific roundworm parasite’s eggs which are impervious to chlorine.

You would need to perform a much stricter disinfection.

https://www.cdc.gov/healthywater/swimming/residential/animals/raccoons-and-pools.html

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8 points

I can probably swim in a smallish lake even if I know there’s a corpse in the other end of it.

But I would refuse to swim in a larger lake if it’s murky, and I know there’s a corpse in it, but I don’t know where.

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7 points

Interesting how you’re differentiating between humans of different ages.

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9 points

a dead baby is alarming at most

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8 points

Usually just a nuisance

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2 points

Hm… Perhaps you’re right. I might consider downgrading it on my scale, but then again it’s still generally more potentially contaminated biomass than a squirrel though.

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49 points

I mean, all sorts of creatures shit in the ocean and people still swim in it but one person shits in the pool…

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39 points
*

It’s called ‘being able to see the shit’

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39 points
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So if I put you in a L-shaped swimming pool and you knew there was shit around the corner, you’d be fine?

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4 points

Yeah, but what about the Jaws music and the creeping brown?

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42 points

I do not recognize the bodies in the water.

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5 points

We saw you checking their faces with relief.

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5 points

Come on… it’s your friends, your classmates. That’s Arthur, right there! They’re calling to you, can’t you hear them?

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3 points

So I’ve just gotta import a corpse for you to swim in the pool with it?

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37 points

If there are bodies in the water, I take them out of the water. Then I let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the…

FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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6 points

I can hear this in a Parrot’s voice

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3 points

This is good shit

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27 points

Bodies of Water

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4 points
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Aren’t we talking Water of Bodies here?

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2 points

Yes

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