I am a lazy failure who can’t do anything. Basic shit I consistently just… don’t do. Its embarrassing. I don’t even want to list all of it. I have hobby stuff I’ve wanted to for years that I’ve just never gotten set up. Homework? More like I’m not fucking doing that. I’ve been wanting to take steps for months to get myself on hormones and get clothes but have I done them? No? Of course not, because I’m fucking lazy. All I do is rot. Its been this way for a long time, I can’t even remember when the last time I didn’t struggle with this. And it doesn’t feel like its getting better. If it really is my autism I’m not sure how it ever can get better.
Are you me? I can sit in front of a computer for hours looking at the most braindead/useless slop, yet I can’t drag my ass to do things I actually WANT to do (like write a novel), or sometimes, even the things I NEED to do (like brush my teeth). ADHD meds work to a certain degree, but even then there’s still a bit of a block between wanting to do something and then following through with it. It sucks. I wish I didn’t struggle with it so much but that’s the brain I’m stuck with.
If you decide to look into it, just be aware that it may take a while to find the right meds and dosage that works for you. I was so excited to finally have an end to this problem after hearing so many people talk about how miraculous meds were for them, but it took me a few months of trial and error to find the right dosage (something that I think I’m getting closer to but we’re still figuring it out). They do help but don’t get your hopes up expecting miracles (like me, stupidly).
Read Unlearning Shame by Dr. Devon Price
https://libgen.is/book/index.php?md5=D671BD3535F0C10BFEFF889C2336719C
That sounds like some sort of attention deficit disorder. You’re not lazy. Very few people, if any, are. Treating this like a moral failing is not only addressing the wrong issue and doing nothing to help, it is also making things worse.
You should seriously look into your options for getting tested for ADHD and having medication. It is not a miracle cure but it is still a huge improvement. For me, it was like 90% of the noise that made thinking and acting so God damn hard was lifted.
Best of luck to you. I hope you get better.
If you find it enjoyable to put off tasks then you are lazy. Most people who think they are lazy are actually dealing with stuff like depression, executive dysfunction, and conditions that affect mood or energy levels (medication side effects, POTS, chronic fatigue, sleep apnoea etc.)
It sounds like you have a lot of tasks that you genuinely want to do but you don’t have the resources to tackle them, and it sounds like you aren’t relishing the opportunity to put them off. That doesn’t sound like laziness imo.
If you find it enjoyable to put off tasks then you are lazy.
I think I’m burned out after taking on too many tasks, so to just cancel things and gently close my eyes is enjoyable in some sense.
I feel like there is a certain sort of sociopathic laziness where you just kinda shirk work because you know the people around you will pick up after you, like never taking out the bin despite having the capacity to do so, but that’s pretty rare compared to the swathe of other neurodivergent people or burned out people. It’s also hard to tell from the outside. The existence of the former is used to police the latter (and obviously the ruling classes have always been motivated to moralise a failure to be productive).
(I’ve seen enough abusive relationships where some guy apparently has the energy to break their partner’s arm, but apparently no energy to do the dishes or prep dinner) (Why have I seen so many of these?)
I think I’m burned out after taking on too many tasks, so to just cancel things and gently close my eyes is enjoyable in some sense.
For me I’d want to make a distinction between a feeling of relief or respite, which you appreciate, and a feeling of enjoyment.
If your “laziness” gives you that sense of relief, sort of like when you’ve been wearing uncomfortable shoes all day and you finally get home and take them off, then imo that’s qualitatively different from actively looking forward to avoiding doing your tasks and finding it gratifying to not do them.
ADHD?
I’m not sure. There are some signs, idk. My dad has it but he acts differently? I’ve thought about looking more into it but it feels like an excuse…
I definitely have autism though.
Here is a way to rethink the word lazy:
Lazy is if you can enjoy inaction: It is Sunday, I wanted to clean up my basement and work out. The sun is shining and a friend wants to hang out by the lake. I agree and we spent half the day loafing around, drinking beer by the lake. I was lazy and that’s alright because I had a good day. Maybe I feel a mild sense of guilt but so what. I know I will get around to it another day and no real harm was done.
Lazy is not: I want to get up but can’t. I want to clean my room, but don’t know where to start so I don’t. I want to do my work but can’t. I want to do things for myself that I know will be good for me, but yet I still have only moved from bed to couch and back. For days, weeks, months. Years?
If your chronic inaction creates suffering and regret, you are not lazy. Your brain fails at providing you with a baseline of motivation, often stemming from both a chemical imbalance and long term acquired behavioural patterns.
ADHD is a very typical reason, depression another one. Sometimes one masks the other and autism correlates so strongly with ADHD, that people have coined the term AuDHD.
Please be kind to yourself and if you can, seek help from a psychiatrist or other mental health provider.
If your chronic inaction creates suffering and regret, you are not lazy.
Thank you So much suffering and regret.
I will look into adhd. I’ll try to be kind to myself, it is difficult.
I’ve seen some different takes out there that basically say that ADHD is essentially in the diagnostic criteria for autism. I’m not a doctor, but the takes I heard from were doctors.
I have ADHD and this basically sounds like myself. Not much to lose by trying a medication.
I literally cried the first several times I took my medicine, cause it opened up a whole new world for what I was capable of willing myself to do.
Was pretty tired and distracted when I made the post. Didn’t notice the pronouns. Usually default to they and them when I’m not sure given the nearly thousand years of us doing that in English
