And it has all kinds of implications and context and shit.
How the fuck am I supposed to tell what’s just people doing things at random and what’s a part of all-singing-all-dancing-shit-show the neurotypicals call “social norms”? Down with NTs.
Honestly while it’s really fucking annoying that refusal to participate could result in some silly neuronormo interpreting a completely innocuous action as an offense, and it can cut you off from social shit, I think it’s basically the only way. The same button never does the same thing twice. Screeching rn.
It’s a big club, and we ain’t in it
Might I ask which pointless social norm prompted this? I’m pretty good at helping my wife who’s autistic navigate them.
My ADHD ass understands that I’m breaking the social norm but reaaallly needed to say something lol
No :3
Breaking the social norm is usually based. This one requies a facial expression I can’t really make…
Is it a smile? I swear I haven’t figured out what the fuck a smile really is. I can manage a grimace that’s the best you get
I can smile when laughing or w/e but cannot make it happen naturally. If somethin makes me happy or whatever it works great, otherwise no lmao.
Find yourself some similarly ND friends who you can be yourself with. There’s probably clubs around
Imagine having friends I just have really nice people online I’m scared to talk to cuz autism, lmao
I just learned this Persian word:
In the rules of hospitality, taarof requires a host to offer anything a guest might want, and a guest is equally obliged to refuse it. This ritual may repeat itself several times (usually three times) before the host and guest finally determine whether the host’s offer and the guest’s refusal are genuine, or simply a show of politeness.
The host is then expected to say one should not do taarof (“ta’arof nakon” - similar to “don’t be polite!”) for which the appropriate response would be to say “no” two or three times and then pretend to cave in to the host’s insistence and pile on the food.
I suspect every culture has examples of this (we can find it everywhere from The Water Margin to Curb Your Enthusiasm), but it’s nice to have a word for one of these neurotypical song-and-dance routines that even the neurotypicals haven’t mastered.
I hate this kind of shit so much. It reminds me of trying to leave family gatherings and getting stuck saying goodbye to people for an hour. Leave the theatrics for the stage and screen, I just want to say how I feel in the moment.
I feel like all social norms boil down to “Why do people do this?”
“Because.”
And NT people just go along with the norms that are forced on them, never questioning why things are the way they are. I always get hung up on the myriad possible meanings of everything that is said and done. For me, nothing has a set meaning and everything must be thoroughly analysed with the context, tone, events leading up to it, etc. I know NT people don’t think this way and just go through the motions but that’s how I instinctively approach social situations and it’s hard to just follow the unspoken NT rules, even when I know them.
I don’t even think NT people like doing most of the normal routine but they’re too compliant to rock the boat.
