Let me preface by saying, I have my SUV all set up with a bed and a kitchen and all the amenities I need to camp out in the woods. I like it that way I’m enjoying myself I see no reason to change.
A couple of times I have mentioned that when seeing a doctor and the next thing I know, here comes the social worker with a stack of papers. I tell them that I’m doing fine. That I like how I’m living. I didn’t ask for any unsolicited help. And they don’t seem to listen at all. At some point they just leave me with a bunch of paperwork in a huff. I don’t understand why they get so upset just because I don’t want their help.
youre an outlier. an anomaly. you have to admit most people do not live that way, and many that do dont want to.
they are just doing their job based on the numbers, and there is no reason to take it personally.
It’s the taking it personally part I don’t understand. I say I’m fine, I don’t need any help. Have a nice day. That should be the end of it.
I would suggest framing your position in a different way. Maybe start by acknowledging that others may not choose this lifestyle but that you do it willingly and explain why you prefer it. You’re coming across defensively in this thread and if you’re also coming across that way in your communications with social workers I can see why they might not believe that your lifestyle is a choice.
Could be. I’ll work on that. I tend to get a little annoyed when I’m offered unsolicited help I guess.
Let me give you a related example that should shed light on their stubbornness…
If someone gets in an accident and hits their head, they might have a concussion. How can you tell? Basic first responder training says to ask several questions. What we don’t ask is, “Are you OK?” because the patient will say “yes” even when they aren’t OK. It’s answers to the other questions that give us enough information to get a sense of whether our help is needed.
It’s quite possible that some social workers are acting in a similar fashion to first responders here. They want the details because their checklist is longer than yours. (There are other reasons that social workers might be annoying, as others have explained, too.)
That doesn’t negate your frustration, but maybe it helps you understand one cause.
Social workers are typically people who love to help people, it gives their life meaning and purpose. They have helped numerous people in rough situations get a comfortable living situation and have no further need of assistance and every time they are over the moon with joy for what they have been able to do for that person.
They meet people who genuinely need help that they can provide and are turned down because of pride/humiliation. Some of those people just need them to be persistent for their help to be accepted.
It must be so soul crushing and demoralizing to have someone you believe you can help tell you to take it on the arches.
While you don’t need their help and are happy living as you do, they think you do need their help and won’t accept it. Your radical freedom breaks their well-meaning, but misguided, hearts.
For a lot of people it’s difficult to understand that anyone would genuinely prefer not living in a house. The word homeless does not give the best connotations after all.
You can insist you’re fine, but men tend to do that anyway. The social worker might have grown up in bad conditions with a father insisting he’s fine and refusing to receive help, for all we know. There’s several reasons they could take it personally. And men who refuse to receive help when they need it can be frustrating to watch - chances are you’re wrongfully considered part of that category.
Living in an SUV is often the first step to really needing their help. Housing insecurity is a quick road to pretty rough living. If you are in their system, in their eyes, they can actually act quickly and help you when the likely next step happens. Not being in the system is pretty slow to get help in most places.
There are a lot of nomads and van dwellers living in dispersed camping spots, traveling the country and enjoying the outdoors. We even have meetups. Others like me leave the sites better than we found them and follow all the rules. Everyone I’ve met so far is happy living this way. I know it seems strange, but enjoying the outdoors and not having to pay bills is wonderful to me and I get to choose solitude or community however I please. It’s a very free way to live.
Oh yeah, I totally get the lifestyle. Done enough overloading to really appreciate the lifestyle. But I’m trying to explain things from their point of view. Even if now, you are in control and everything is going according to your plans, they see trouble in months if not years when those plans abruptly change. They know how most people got from point A to point B and are now sleeping in shelters or dark corners of “civilization”.
I guess from this perspective I can see that point. The last one I talked to was actually arguing with me about it and was upset when she left, I don’t understand that. I wasn’t confrontational with her. I just simply said I’m fine I don’t really need any help have a nice day. I thought I was pretty calm. I guess it was probably just her.
When I find myself becoming irked by someone offering help I don’t need, it helps me to think of things in terms of people who slip through the gaps: the system that the social worker is a part of strives to help those who need it, and you not needing that help makes you a false positive. You were likely flagged because sometimes when someone is living in their vehicle, this is a symptom (and reinforcing factor) of their life being in disarray. That is to say that some people who superficially look a lot like you are in need of support, and not catching these people would be false negatives. Bonus complication is that many people who do need this help may also be resistant to support (for a variety of reasons).
Given that no system is perfect, and the error rate will always be greater than zero, we can ask the hypothetical “is it better to have fewer false positives and more false negatives, or more false positives and fewer false negatives?”. Put a different way, when you’re bothered, that’s you slipping through the gaps in a system that has opted for more false positives with the goal of helping as many people who need it as possible.
Unrelated to everything else I said, I’m glad you’ve been able to find a way of living that you’re happy in — it is a challenge when the life that is best suited for us is one that society considers “abnormal”, so I’m happy to hear about anyone who has broken into what works.
Clearly the nomadic lifestyle does not work for everyone. Many people try it for a couple of months or a couple of years and then make a change. If you’re enjoying it, great, and if you enjoy it for years or decades to come, great, but don’t pretend that everyone does. And this is important because social workers cannot predict your future. They can only play the odds and make reasonable preparations for possible future badness.
Because they have 50 more people to see in the next 7 hours and some dipshit wasted their time scheduling them to drive out into the middle of fucking nowhere to see some dude that’s already told the last 6 people he doesn’t need them and 90% of people (even in the mental health field) don’t have enough insight into their own thought processes to correctly target their frustrations. I don’t even nail it every single time but I’ve generally speaking had good results by just making sure to always “punch upwards” so to speak.
Some good interactions here. Cant speak to the emotional content because I wasn’t present. Emotions are messy, who knows what happened between you two.
All I can say is that the relevant parties saw your conditions of living and recognized them as the risk factors that they are. You living well, and choosing that life, is a pleasant outcome. But they can’t know that without doing a follow-up assessment. For all they know, you’re living in your car scraping up railroad spikes to buy today’s heroin.
Highly disagree with the advice to lie to your doctor. As long as you are not a danger to others, making explicit threats to harm yourself, or harming a child, and as long as you’re following the laws, then they can’t force you to get services.
Next time, just tell them that you’ve already been assessed and were found to not be at risk. And if someone stops by, be friendly… they’re doing a really hard job that puts a lot of good into the world for a lot of people. Take any pamphlets they got cuz it might be useful knowledge. Educate yourself, etc. And keep on truckin! Thanks for the post.
Where do you shower? Do you have a job? If not, how do you get food, money for gas etc.?
