Develop into your own beautiful human, first. A lot of dudes are mid at best; myself included
Same advice applies to dudes too TBH. We’d all be a lot better off if we figured our shit out before inflicting ourselves on each other and fucking us up even more.
Could really just remove the genders from what this person said and make it applicable to everyone. Young men should be doing the same thing.
Toxic femininity and masculinity both push the narrative of how young men need to constantly pursue women, and everything they do should be in pursuit of chasing pussy. How men should always be available to women when the time comes.
Grow for yourself.
Yes.
Men are miles behind on the self development front in a lot of cases though. Generational suppression of feelings and an inability to cope with them correctly has done us a massive disservice. Like a deer with chronic wasting disease, we stagger on, continuing to do the same thing, despite how tragically fucked up we are.
Please… How do I communicate this to my failing 13- year old daughter?
so many words, so little meme
Why is this a gendered thing? If you replaced “Younger girls” with “any person” and “Men” with “Other people” then this not only remains true, but actually makes just as much sense and applies to more situations.
As a bisexual person, it is very weird to me on a conceptual level how much weight people put behind genders. Like, whether I find a person attractive or not does not correlate to whether they present masculine or feminine, or which sex they had assigned at birth. Like logically I understand why it is the way it is, I’ve just never felt it for myself and assumed everyone just sorta pretends it matters, until I figured out I’m bi.
Hmm, maybe that’s why I have a similar mindset to you. I’m not sure it’s related to my sexuality though. Possibly, but I’ve just been screwed over by people in all kinds of relationships to me, whether it be family, people in positions of authority over me, co-workers, friends and also people I’ve been in a romantic relationships with.
It seems strange to put so much weight on gender and also so much weight on romance / intimacy when doing things solely to please others whilst neglecting your own needs and desires is bad regardless of your relationship with that person.
Why is this what you’re worried about? This person is talking to a specific group, and to a soecific group that is often told that their only value is in being attractive men. While us dudes would also benefit from this advice we often find our hobbies and our romantic lives more separated than women.
Wording it like that is coming off as such a “why aren’t we talking about me though?!”
I feel the specificity is to drive home the point to the target of this message. You can generalize advice to be more accurate and apply to more people, but it’ll be as wide as an ocean and deep as a puddle.
People are really great at excluding themselves from general advice like “don’t worry about judgement”, they need to feel like the message is tailored to their own experiences.
You can definitely recycle the message with a male or gender neutral tone, but that’ll lead to different conversations. Sometimes people don’t want to speak out to a generic broad audience, they want a more specific conversation.
Valid point. Narrowing the audience of the message can make sense, but weakening the actual lesson by ignoring all the other people you shouldn’t please with no regard for your own feelings I don’t think is a great idea. After all, we all seek validation from our peers far too often and this can be devastating to our mental health and wellbeing.
99 problems …
