Notification blindness (what I like to call it) on my devices is something that I deal with as well. I have started using physical medium and visual queues instead now. I have a whiteboard in my kitchen on/next to my fridge where I put to-do lists, daily/weekly chores, various short term reminders, and even calendar events. I cross/check them off when completed.

I have also began keep two sections of my journal. One is the journaling section and the other is a space for quick notes or status updates on projects/tasks. When I’m on the go I will use the journal and then when I get home try to promptly add it to the whiteboard if applicable.

It’s not easy to stick to the routine long enough to create the habit, but I’ve found that doing things on physical medium helps me immensely. Having it written down and hanging right there in my face keeps me honest.

I don’t know if this works for everyone or if it fully applies to your post, but it felt like a good thing to share and hopefully you can adapt some portion to your situation.

• make sure you are getting as good sleep as you can
• if you havent tried coffee, give it a go. I havent tried nicotine, but ive heard some people say zyns help them. All anecdotal but in the absence of pharma stimulants you gotta get whatever you can
• avoid alcohol especially, and maybe avoid weed and other drugs. Again, alcohol is gonna fuck your sleep and anything that will make you feel worse tomorrow is going to make it even harder to stick to your plans
• i found exercise actually does help me focus a lot, but this is more since i started my stimulant. But i guess it is worth a try, maybe moreso if you have hyperactive first adhd (i have the innatentive first type)

Hopefully countries with regressive stimulant regulations will learn in time that they are so necessary and useful. And the abuse potential frankly is not that bad if you stick to the newer longer lasting or timed release types. I pop a 36mg concerta when i wake up and am good for the day, so i really dont have to think about it at all.

Strattera helps some people, but i think stimulants are still considered the best treatment in terms of percentage that respond well to it.

You may not like the alternatives, cause it’s gonna include stuff like therapy (specifically CBT) - this is proven to help. Some people who aren’t medicated self-medicate with a lot of caffeine (please stick to safe levels). There is some limited evidence that maintaining a good level of fitness and visiting natural spaces regularly help, I know it can be quite difficult to stick to fitness so instead of setting aside time for fitness, I’d say integrate it into your daily life (walk instead of drive/transit for example). There is no evidence for any diet change or supplement, but that doesn’t mean it can’t help even a little.

Some people find body doubling helpful, I don’t know actionable it is for you to have someone physically next to you for tasks is. Apparently even remote body doubling by being able to voice or video call can help.

For now, the only empirical treatment we have that is proven to work for everyone is medication - I’m sorry. There’s been some limited evidence that you can train your working memory but there is not evidence that it works long term. Other than have someone else remind you - and importantly YOU ACCEPTING THOSE REMINDERS - I don’t know what can be suggested to help you stay on task besides something like body doubling. I was my exes reminder person and one of the things that contributed to the break up was them being very hostile about reminders, that they asked for, so maybe show some grace to people youve asked to help when they get you back on task.

I know you don’t wan’t to or can’t go the diagnosis route but those people are going to be able to set you up with supports. Perhaps besides medication although getting you on something might be more beneficial than nothing. You will have an easier time getting supports with a diagnosis. Yes, it will probably be difficult to stay on task/schedule but ironically, any psych worth their salt would see that struggle and conclude you likely have ADHD lol. It may be easier if you are at a university that has a health clinic for the student population.

Without medication, you are likely going to have to rely on friends and family for some amount of time. You are probably going to feel embarrassed asking for this help. You are probably going to feel anxious about rejection (adhd is very linked with rejection sensitivity, which is a much smaller word than how being rejected/failing feels to someone with it implies). You are going to have to get past any embarrassment and anxiety you may feel because battling this alone is a mugs game. It is hard to ask for help, you are going to have to anyway.

I’m also interested, I can’t take medication for a few reasons, it reacts poorly with me, it’s a controlled medication meaning expensive psych visits everytime I want a script, etc. so any management advice would be great

I’ll start by saying I do take stimulants and am bad at functioning without them. But these are things I do when I’m on a tolerance break and need to not lose the momentum of my self care. Playing loud high energy music is good for getting me energized when I’m having executive dysfunction. I religiously put everything into my calendar on my phone and get multiple push notifications for every event. I drink caffeine when I can. And then I try to let the impulsivity take its course sometimes because it’s preferable to being couch locked.

This is less immediately actionable advice, but I’ve intentionally gone out of my way to find jobs where having a bad ADHD day isn’t a deal breaker. I did this by getting fired over and over again until I finally landed at a company that’s more laid back. Can’t say I recommend this method but it’s what I did. I’ve heard it said that people with ADHD have an interest-based nervous system, so it helps that my job is doing something I’m interested in. Any other job I would get so bored that I could physically not force myself to body to work. Having a podcast or video constantly running in the background did help with that, though.

I’ve also tried a bunch of those apps that are basically todo lists but try and gamify it. The only one that I’ve stuck to is Finch, maybe because it’s cutesy? Maybe because I started doing it with my partner? I don’t know.