I definitely can’t show this to my wife

Well that looks like a tick, so it wasn’t a spider.

Also, reminds me of a classic story: https://quirogatranslated.wordpress.com/2014/06/20/the-feather-pillow/

Oh my gosh, I have a spider story. For background, I grew up in Florida and have a near phobic fear of palmetto bugs.

So one night I’m sleeping and jolt awake at that scuttling sound of palmetto legs on drywall. I throw on the light, terrified but see there is no palmetto bug, just a really big spider on the wall. I turned off the light and fell right back to sleep.

ooer

I was lying in bed, on my phone probably, when I felt this exact feeling. I’m not too terrified of this, so I just shooed the back of my neck with my hand to make the feeling go away. Just to be safe, I thought I’d check anyway. Right in the direction I had moved my hand there was a spider scurrying away. I probably showed it to the closest window, as is standard procedure. I didn’t know to feel terrified that you can just be attacked in your own home like this, or excited that it was actually a spider for the first time.