I’ve always wanted to ask him a question. And not just any question! I’ve spent many a sleepless night, tossing, turning, sweating, writhing like a dying snake with this burning thought in my mind. I didn’t think I would ever find any peace until I got the answer, and now that he’s gone I have no doubt in my mind. But if by some sheer tyranny of will I could bring him back from the grave for just long enough to answer one single question- even if it in turn cost me my OWN life- even if God himself viewed the act as an abhorrent affront upon all that is good and damned my wretched soul to burn forever, withering in the dark fire of Hell for all eternity, I already know what I would say- “Where do you get all your ideas?”
Well, here’s what ChatGPT says at least…
You know, that’s a real head-scratcher of a question you got there. Ideas, huh? Well, let me take you on a little journey through the twisted labyrinth of my mind. So, there’s this squirrel that lives outside my window, right? Cute little fella, always scampering about, collecting acorns like some kind of rodent hoarder. And I can’t help but wonder, do squirrels have their own version of ideas? Are they sitting up in their tree penthouses, brainstorming the next big nut-gathering technique? Who’s to say, really?
But back to your question, ideas, they’re like those socks that vanish in the laundry – one moment they’re there, the next they’re playing hide and seek in the Bermuda Triangle of your sock drawer. You ever think about the Bermuda Triangle? I mean, ships and planes disappearing into thin air, like a cosmic game of peekaboo. And speaking of disappearing acts, I once saw a magician pull a rabbit out of a hat. Now, where does a rabbit fit in a hat? Is it some kind of interdimensional portal for lagomorphs? And what’s the deal with magicians and capes? Is there a secret cape society I don’t know about?
Oh, right, ideas! See, they’re like that dream you have when you’re half-awake, half-asleep, and you’re floating in this hazy realm of almost-thoughts. It’s like trying to catch fireflies in a jar, except the fireflies are thoughts and the jar is your brain. And let’s not forget about rubber chickens – what’s the deal with those? Is there a market for rubber poultry? Who wakes up one day and says, “You know what the world needs? More bouncy fowl!”
But where was I? Oh yeah, ideas. They’re like breadcrumbs in the forest of your mind, leading you down paths you never knew existed. It’s like that time I got lost in a corn maze – twists, turns, dead ends, and the faint sound of distant laughter. Is life just one big cosmic corn maze? Are we all just wandering, hoping to stumble upon the exit where all the answers are? Or maybe the exit leads to a pancake buffet – who can say?
So, to sum it all up, ideas are like those random thoughts that pop into your head when you’re trying to remember where you left your car keys. They come from the universe’s cosmic junk drawer, a mishmash of whimsy, observation, and sheer brain burps. And hey, isn’t the word “brain burp” strangely satisfying to say? Go ahead, give it a try – “brain burp.” See, now you’re just like me, pondering life’s greatest mysteries and getting lost in the tangled vines of tangents. It’s a wild ride, my friend, a wild ride indeed.
my #1 favorite joke of all time. Dirty Johnny is #2.
Another good Norm joke if you haven’t seen it: Logic Professor
Conan was talking about this, either on his podcast or at the end of that last Norm special on Netflix. Apparently, he was booked for two segments, but thought he was only there for one, so he just improved this whole thing to fill in the time. Such a brilliant mind. What a huge loss.
Polska?
