Firefighter here. I was reflecting on a fatality I attended recently. My thoughts wandered to how a body looks like it is ‘just matter’ in a way that a living thing does not, even when sleeping. Previously I assumed this observation was just something to do with traumatic death, but this person seemed to have died peacefully and the same, ‘absence’ of something was obvious.
I’m not a religious person, but it made me wonder if there actually is something that ‘leaves’ when someone dies (beyond the obvious breathing, pulse etc).
I’m not looking for a ‘my holy book says’, kind of discussion here, but rather a reflection on the direct, lived experiences of people who see death regularly.
Not responding to your post specifically but I’m just making you aware that there are people who practice spirituality and believe in the soul and there being more out there without being religious
Mortician here.
Deceased people actually do get “lighter”. Immediately after death they loose 50-200 Gramm within seconds, mostly the air they had breath in and is slowly exhaled. After that they start to get lighter due to loss of fluids. I don’t want to go into too much detail but it is not just vaporated water. Depending on position at death and temperature that can be around 10-200 Gramm per hour. That is for the trained eye quite visible as it mostly happens in the outer layers of the body. This also is the reason why deceased men often look unshaved, their hair doesn’t grow, their skin just shrinks.
Most times it is very obvious if the person is dead. But I have also had some uncanny valley experiences where I thought “is she/he maybe just asleep?” In one case a doctor called me to an old woman where two police officers and the doctor claimed her to be dead. I arrived, we grabbed her to lift her up and suddenly she jumps up and scolds us for waking her up.
That was the first time when I had tea and cookies with a customer. She lived for another four years and died at age 101. I felt quite strange visiting the same person twice in my job.
Besides that, you get used to it. Keep it professional, slightly distant, developed a routine. The routine can and should include keeping respect at all time but not necessarily emotions. My Grandpa was pretty good at that, he could even shed a tear without actually feeling something. It helped the bereaved to open for their own emotions.
There was a movie about the loss of weight on death I think. I’ll have to watch it.
If you can remember the name of the movie let me know.
Is it a documentary or a entertainment movie?
Either way, I can honestly say I want to see it for educational reasons.
It was called 21 grams.
Here you go: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/21_Grams
It’s hard to explain, but dead looks different from alive. I’ve seen alive people not breathing, and with their heart stopped, and even shot and bleeding out, but dead is something else.
There’s a tension and maybe responsiveness to skin and muscles that is uncanny when missing. Not sure many here could 100% recognize that very early on at the point of death, but at some point there is a wariness/unnatural look to the skin. Between that and our assumed ability to pick up on a complete lack of movement/breathing/pallor makes it reasonably certain that there is a “something” we recognize as missing, even if it’s hard to describe perfectly.
This is exactly what the uncanny valley is. A corpse is so close to resembling a living human without being a living human that it freaks our brains out.
I’ve hospiced plenty of folks right until they’ve passed and that feeling of missing comes sooner than clinical death, I’ll tell you. Once someone’s respiration rate drops low enough and their pulse and BP are undetectable, and the blood starts pooling, you’ll have a very hard time differentiating them from a body without a stethoscope and time. Clinically dead folks do tend to become a job to deal with and aren’t something that register as people, though you still feel the need to be respectful.
