I recently made a new account on lemmy.blahaj.zone, because I’ve been harassed and doxxed on my old account and I wanted a fresh start with a more lighthearted online identity that I could be more open about my gender identity on. I’d heard blahaj zone was good for trans people, so I made my account there. And yeah, autism@lemmy.world removed my post discussing neuronormativism from a queer perspective, but I hoped maybe “the trans instance” would be friendlier to trans people.
A couple days after making my account, I saw someone on Blahaj engaging in the tired old cliche of “I hate politics, there’s no politics on my social media and I want to keep it that way!” Well we’ve all heard the joke that the two races are white and political, the two genders are male and political, and the two sexualities are straight and political. Hatred of politics is a transphobic, sexist, and racist trope. And having sufferred harassment and abuse from people inside the queer community who “hated politics” and saw trans or nonbinary or xenogender identities as political, I knew this kind of speech was going to make bigots feel comfortable saying they also hate politics, and they think us trans people are it.
So, I responded to the transphobia. I started out by attempting to educate them on what politics actually means. But I was interrupted by the Blahaj admin Ada, who told me that politics is “anything I disagree with”, and that indeed politics isn’t welcome on Blahaj. This language was deeply triggering of my past issues dealing with abuse, and I knew from past experience this sort of thing is said by people who are getting ready to say some enbyphobic or racist hate speech. It is especially common for white queer people to talk this way to BIPOC queer people. I tried to reason with Ada, explained the history of the cliche, the trauma it’s caused many trans people, and the consequences this kind of speech will have on the community here, making us all less safe.
Ada wasn’t having it. She minimised my concerns by reducing them to my personal trauma while ignoring my wider concerns for others’ safety, and weaponised my PTSD to paint my opinions as invalid because I am mentally ill. She said she owns Blahaj, and she gets to do whatever she wants with it, and nobody is allowed to express a differing opinion, even one that protects trans people, because that’s politics. At the time I thought her concern was me speaking directly to transphobes and making them feel uncomfortable by calling out their actions, so I said I’d just report it instead, and she banned my account.
This behaviour protects transphobes, WILL lead to trans and BIPOC people being harassed on this instance, attacks and gaslights victims of trauma (my concerns can’t be valid because I have a mental illness), and forces out any trans person with a commitment to safety for the community.
The thread where all this happened: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2143969
EDIT: The person who originally posted the transphobic views on politics is now misgendering me and calling me a “guy” despite me being very openly nonbinary: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2319669. And I didn’t call them autistic at any point.
What was your old username? Would be helpful to look you up in the modlogs
The alleged transphobe would be Abigail Watson, and I assume our OP is “PM_ME_FAT_ENBIES.”
I honestly don’t really see the transphobia, which feels a bit shaky for me to say given that I’m cis, but it looks more like OP went ham on a person saying that they prefer to spend their social media time scrolling cat pictures, sewing, and fanart, or well things like it.
Ada’s responses to me seem very well grounded. This in particular stands out.
And what I’m saying is that this sort of talk of the semantics of queer discourse needs to be opt in for your peers, because not everyone has the spoons to deal with that discussion. Some people are explicitly trying to get away from it.
Honestly, I kind of feel for Abigail. I personally have a pretty low tolerance for news, political or otherwise. They’re always presented in a sensationalist manner, and often just outright horrible. I just don’t have the energy to spend on things that ultimately make me feel miserable, so I try to shut it out.
And as I said in that thread, you can’t simultaneously hold the views that discourse should be opt-in, and that spreading transphobia isn’t discourse. Nobody has the right to hate speech in a public forum without being challenged on it. And what Abigail said isn’t hate speech, but it is speech that will harm trans people. And Abigail’s repeated misgendering of me when I am very openly nonbinary certainly paints their refusal to change their language in a much harsher light
I don’t view transphobia as discourse, it’s just hate speech and doesn’t belong being platformed anywhere. It’s fantastic that you have the will and drive to engage in political discourse and activism as much as you do, I really rather envy that, but not everyone has that energy. For me personally, I need to decouple myself from the constant flow of hate that’s so easy to end up in when you go down those paths of political discourse, because all it does for me is drain me and ruin my day.
Now that’s not me letting people run rampant with whatever hateful discourse they have, that’s me closing the door on the world for the day and engaging in some self-care. Perhaps I’m projecting, but that’s how I read Abigail as well.
Well done if this is a troll post. If not, lol.
Lmao what is this? First time on the internet?
Read the thread you linked. Taking Ada’s side.
Agree she and the other poster used the word, “Politics” incorrectly.
Express the same opinion you do that “Everything is political!”
I am also an annoying faggot, and so I know a thing or two about being abrasive. You definitely were.
Abrasion can be good. It’s how we get and maintain political actualization, it also smooths out wood.
We got to watch where we direct it though. The sandpaper that smooths the dresser can also scratch the mirror, and we can lose sight of ourselves.
Step back.
Breath.
Maybe after a while apologize to Ada—she seemed pretty understanding throughout the whole thing.
Or just stay off BLÅHAJ and move on with your life.
You are probably feeling rejected right now and I imagine that doesn’t feel good at all.
It explains why you are posting this thread to so many magazines, searching desperately for community and connection.
UNDER THE ASSUMPTION YOU ARE NOT A TROLL (an assertion your username leaves me unable to be 100% about) then I don’t reject you.
I think you were incorrect in this instance, but I’ve yet to come across a reason to hate you.
Whatever you choose to do, I hope you feel better.
May this experience facilitate better ones in the future.
What about the part where she ignored my concerns about the harm the speech could have on trans people because I’m mentally ill? I discussed my personal trauma with transphobic cliches and their effects, and she only spoke about the trauma, saying it wasn’t a good enough reason to remove the content. I had good reasons and she ignored them because I have trauma. All I saw was an unwillingness to compromise and gaslighting to support her decisions. When it came down to it, she didn’t have a reason not to remove the transphobia, but it was “my way or the highway” because she’s the famous person with thousands of people on her website, and I’m just some mentally ill person who gets abused. I don’t see any of this patience you’re talking about, I only see a facade of patience. A projection of an image designed to delegitimise without any tangible action to protect anyone
I can see you’re hurt.
I imagine that doesn’t feel good.
I can also—like Forest Whitaker in Species—imagine how the other poster must have felt to’ve used a less-than-opportune term while describing their desire for a space with a degree of disengagement and had you come at them.
At. Not to.
And with the vitriol usually used on cis people
Because someone used an inideal word in describing their want for peace.
And now you’re trying to turn the rest of the fediverse against them.
I also have to say I noticed how I all-but-called-you a troll and you never addressed it or explained your user name.
Perhaps you are so shook up in whatever state your in that you jumped right to disparaging Ada and defending your verisimilitude plumb slipped your mind.
I don’t deny the possibility.
I also acknowledge the possibility none of this is in good faith and you didn’t address your potential trollhood and that doesn’t serve your end of stirring shit.
I accuse you of neither, though the fact you did not address your username does lead me to doubt your veracity.
I didn’t think you called me a troll. I thought you said you were going to assume I wasn’t a troll and act in good faith. I thought you were making a serious attempt at reasonableness and empathy. The explanation for my username is that I wanted a more lighthearted account where I could be open about my gender and sexuality. I’m a gay fat enby, so I made my username a joke about that. Yeah, it was Reddit tier humour, but on Reddit it was always a chuckle and moving on when someone with a PM_ME username commented on something serious. I wanted a bit of levity when I went and said something serious, and in the time I had that username that did happen. At least one person saw my username, couldn’t take me seriously, and didn’t argue with me. It defused a hostile situation and I saw that as a win.
I also would like my non political communities to be void of politics. I’m glad to see an admin actually stop that. None of the Reddit mods would ever stop political crap, even though it was against the sub rules.
Everything is political. Politics is defined by nearly every dictionary as the field of decision making and power in groups. Every reddit and fediverse community is a group. Those groups need mechanisms of controlling power and making decisions. That’s what politics is for. That’s what politics is. When you say you hate politics, you are making a political statement. You are trying to influence a group’s decision making.
Everything is political.
And yet it is possible and fine to define which topics belong to a community, and which topics do not.
Note this doesn’t change anything about this group being political by your definition.
So if a group decides they only want to discuss cute cat pics, and specifically do not want to discuss social topics regarding humans (what people roughly mean when they express their antipathy for politics), that’s one of many ways to make a cat community. It’s still a political group in your book, necessarily. It’s still not okay to talk about labor unions in that cat community.
I agree with you, and I agreed with you yesterday when I was banned. That wasn’t the argument.
