58 points

is this a phone screenshot of a tik-tok screenshot of a tweet ?

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31 points

lemme post this on instagram, send it via whatsapp, upload it to imgur and have it recompressed by youtube real quick!

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10 points

To convert that to open services: Let me just post this on Pixelfed, send it via Telegram/Signal, upload it to (hmm, can someone help me here) and have it recompressed by Odysee/Peertube!

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4 points

Help is here: upload it to Picsur

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3 points

That’s a weird way to spell matrix

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7 points

MORE JPEG!

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47 points
*

I would like to buy some air conditioning

Hitachi: OK

And some science equipment, a crane and some train tracks

Hitachi: Done

Also I want to pleasure myself

Hitachi: I gotcha fam

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15 points

I would like to buy a business copier/printer/scanner.

Brother: Got you covered.

Any idea where I can get a good sewing machine?

Brother: Funny you should ask!

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7 points

Magic wand moment 😂.

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38 points

Me: I’d like to buy a smartphone

Samsung: ok

Me: I also need an apartment in Korea

Samsung: ok

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22 points

Me: can I also get some appliances for that apartment?

Samsung: ok

Me: and you know I’ll probably also need a testing kit for these chemicals that I purchased

Samsung: done

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17 points
*

Me: I need assisted living facilities after a small chemical accident in the home

Samsung: no problem

Me: oh, and some sugar

Samsung: fine, there you go

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21 points
*

Me : I’ll also need a tank and a giant crane for… unspecified reasons.

Samsung: ok

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15 points

Me: also diapers, unrelated

Samsung: here you go

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12 points

Or medical treatment in a hospital. Or signing up for military service and using one of their vehicles.

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6 points

Or wet wipes for dogs, probably

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20 points
*

ᗜwᗜ - I would like to buy a smartphone
Xiaomi - ok>
ᗜwᗜ - I’d also like to buy a pressure cooker, flipflops, bicycle, suitcases, wine bottle o-
Xiaomi - 你不会相信我会说的话

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18 points

Me: I’d love any of these things without ads

Xiaomi: lmao no wtf

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4 points
2 points

Yeah I’m fine with Xiaomi having ads on their phones. When I owned one I honestly rarely ever saw them.

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17 points
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I’d also like an industrial drone for dispersing pesticides and liquid based fertilizers.

Yamaha: Would you like it to match your motorcycle?

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1 point

That’s a rhetorical question, right?

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1 point

And my piano, too

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