As title states.
But also, can I get some advice from the community? After a long while, I finally lifted the veil over my eyes and came to terms with the fact that I am totally and unapologetically homosexual. But I’ve been married for a long time so we’re trying to make it work and just extend ourselves to polyamory. I’ve booted up a dating profile, but should I include that I am a baby gay? Do I include my open relationship? Or are those things to talk about in person? Any advice?
I have used dating apps and there’s a fundamental problem with them. They have all been monetized past the point of usability.
Say somebody matches you; you get a notification that you received a like, but can’t view who did so unless you shell out $20-40 for a week. So the notification just pulls you back to the app for no benefit.
So your only real option for use is to just like as many people as possible in the hopes that one of them has liked you already, so you can send a message. But don’t think “Well I’ll just like the people I like and it will work out”
See most of these apps will use your “looking for” info to make a list of “people we think you’ll like”. Some of them are real accounts. Many are payed to play along and then ghost you. All of them are locked behind additional payments for messages or even matching in the first place.
Unless you are willing to pay the premium tier for access to what we’re basic features on a free a decade ago, it’s just not worth your time.
Another issue with not paying is that the algorithm will eventually push you further down the list and barely show you to anyone after the first week or two, leading you to believe that no one is interested in you, when in reality it’s just that you’re not being shown to anyone.
Not good for your self-esteem, really.
I met my Wife on tinder 7 years ago and we have been married for 4 now. From what I’m told, that was the golden age of dating apps, and they have gotten awful. It’s all bots, and people trying to sell only fans subscriptions. It’s a bummer because the concept was good, but once people figure out how to exploit the app for money, it’s over.
Within the last 3-5 years they took a massive nosedive off the cliff and right into the “completely plunder our users” pool. They remove useful features that made it easier to find a partner you’re interested in and they all copied tinders “success” by removing what set them apart in favor of all being identical “swipe only” apps.
Some sites even delved further into the depths of their sales teams depravity and added streaming functions so now you have sites like POF where there’s an entire ecosystem of people that are only there to stream and make money off of desperate guys…
It became a disgusting money gab and unfortunately for me as I don’t have local options to meet people, I’ve backed out. I’d say if you’re not a super desirable person then save yourself the headache/heartache and just avoid them.
Hello.
I met my wife on a dating app about 7 years ago. We’ve been married for about 4 years.
What you put on your profile depends, in large part, on what you want to get out of it. I was looking for a long term, committed partner, that could one day lead to marriage. So I wanted to be as honest and open as possible about who I was and what I was looking for.
I think, at the very least, it would be respectful to state that you are married so that you are not leading anyone on. Just remember they are real people on the other end of the app. Be mindful of their feelings, and perhaps consider what you would want to know if you were someone else reading your profile.
The only experience I’ve ever had that rivals the intense soulsucking of dating apps was applying for work as a fresh highschool graduate during a recession.
Just for context: I’m actually decently eligible by the traditional metrics… nice job, nice place, nice face. Shit still sucks even with tailwinds at your back. I admire anyone with the fortitude to stick to these apps because they tore my ass down and then some!
My takeaway was simple: life’s too short to waste waiting for someone else to complete you. I uninstalled those apps and have been happily single ever since ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
