a bit of a late post today but i’ve been exceedingly busy working on some important stuff on the side and that’s taken up most of my time. things are going pretty good currently and are generally productive.
Doing so much better than last week. Got my instance back up and running and was able to bring up some very much needed conversations that hopefully lemmy backend contributors have begun to take note of. Had a lovely Rosh Hashanah and am prepping for Yom Kippur soon. Was sadly unable to participate in person due to increased COVID stuff, but it was still nice to disconnect from everything and dip some apples in honey. Been actually coming out of my reading slump too :)
Hope the rest of your week is somewhat more chill, or you can at least get some rest this weekend
Well, it’s been a month and a half since I’ve had a job. Since then, my car got repossessed.
So now my only options are remote (literally live in the middle of nowhere), and I’ve been getting rejected.
Normally, it doesn’t bother me. But it’s coming up on one year of shattering a past relationship of 9 years with drug abuse, and it’s affecting me.
At least I have one year of sobriety to show. Well, mostly sober (weed).
Coupled with living with family, there’s this pressure for me to get a job as soon as possible, but I can’t control the process.
All I tell myself is I’m trying.
So, how I’m feeling this week: a bit disassociated from reality and a bit down on luck.
I’m right there with you.
Yesterday I was totally paralyzed with all of the things I need to do. Ended up cooking dinner and that was all. I’ve been on the job hunt for over a year now just trying to find something that brings a little light to my life, but it all seems so soul-crushing.
I’ve also been dependent on cannabis because it makes me feel… normal? Now my medical card has expired and I never used it illegally so I’m facing this dark tunnel alone and it’s overwhelming.
Though I was able to watch my neighbor’s dog and cat for 10 days earlier this month. It was strange to have living things depend on me again. My boy died about a year and a half ago and I’m still not over it. Isn’t this shit supposed to get easier with time?
We aren’t alone in feeling the way we do. Gods know I could use a hug; if you have family there soak up all the time you can get.
Let’s hope that soon we will crawl out of our personal hells and thrive.
My boy died about a year and a half ago and I’m still not over it. Isn’t this shit supposed to get easier with time?
Someone described it to be like the sea: first you fall off the deep end, and you feel like drowning. After some time you manage to get to the surface, but ever so often a wave comes rolling over and makes you gasp for air. Over time, the waves come less often, they get smaller… then once in a blue moon a big one comes and pushes you under again… but hopefully the next one will be a small one.
CW
I’ve been through a lot of pets over the decades, mostly cats but also some dogs. Having to care after another 5 or 10 all the time, made it easier to get busy and forget for a while about the one that had just gone away, but to this day I get emotional while remembering some good old friend from 20 or 30 years ago. When my mom passed away earlier this year, whom I’ve been close to, the only thing that made me move were some decent benzos (aka “f-it-all” pills). Having to give away 8 cats over the following few months, hasn’t been easy though, even if there are about 6 or 8 more left (some come and go, some haven’t come back in a while). It’s been hard to look at them without remembering the others, or thinking that even these may need to go soon. I haven’t lived without pets since I was like 6, not really sure how to even do it, much less completely alone.
Someone described it to be like the sea
That sounds like the famous GSnow comment, also known as “Grief comes in waves”. I find that incredibly helpful and comforting. Here’s a non reddit link in case you or @Flyinx@beehaw.org want to read it.
The worst will wear off but i don’t think there is a universal time frame for how long it will take. I’ve had many pets and it also depends on how close you were with them and how they died. For those with a traumatic death, it took much, much longer, compared to a pet that peacefully died of old age. Don’t wait for the pain to wear off. Just live your life and it will take how long it will take. I do hope you don’t have to deal with people saying things like; just bring in a new pet. That is a completely personal decision; for some it might help, for others it might feel like a betrayal.
Wishing you all the best.
Tbh it’s been bad.
My partner got a job in Seattle, which has been the plan. I am from there and we have been wanting to move back. I was hoping to keep my job when I moved there as it’s fully remote, although pretty California specific. Before I went on my 2 week trip, I was told, yes I could keep my job. I was so thrilled. Kept thinking about how excited I was to finally be moving back after all these years.
First day back from the trip. Oh oops, nevermind, I don’t get to keep it. So now I’m in a position of, find a new job as fast as possible or else I’m stuck down here by myself for who knows how long. And I feel like I can’t even do anything to start this process, as I am still waiting for the surgeon I’m seeing for bottom surgery to call me and schedule. It’s been a month since insurance approved the procedure, but crickets from the clinic. Idk how I can really apply for jobs when my surgery could come at any time and postpone me starting the job. And it’s on my current works insurance so…
On top of it all, dysphoria is at an all time high. Misgendering has never been fun for me, but I’ve often been able to shrug it off. During my trip I was getting misgendered like 30-50 times a day. It wore me out so much. Just a general feeling of fuck recently.
Oh and I just got covid.
Unfun times
I am so sorry, that’s such a perfect storm of terrible circumstances. I recently had my job backpedal on something they promised me and it was so infuriatingly unprofessional (although very luckily I have a wonderful and very influential mentor who fixed the problem).
And the clinic, I don’t know their situation but I’d expect that insurance approval should be the hard part, so to go a month without hearing from them? I’m getting upset just thinking about it.
I can only hope other people get their acts together for you very soon. In the meantime, consider me in your corner, steaming at the injustice.
Welp, as if they saw my comment. I got a call from them today. The first part of my procedure is in less than a month! Woo! We take the wins!!! 🥳
I had a competitive service exam last Sunday. I think I passed it, but I don’t know yet, until the publication of the provisional official results after some weeks. That’s the good news.
The bad news is that I’ve been bullied by two tankies over two comments I posted on lemmy.ml, and I’m so upset that I don’t even know what to do or how to deal with it. Life fucking sucks, really.
Going well. I’ve been a Godot game engineer for 5 years and an unreal game engineer for 10. So my worth kind of just skyrocketed this week. Lots of questions about Godot vs unreal. I’ve been reading up on game design and project management to help my career trajectory.
I hope one day to start my own small game studio and with each passing year it’s felt both closer and more unreachable. This last week I’m starting to see why it’s felt that way and where I can better put my efforts.
Money is always hard. I have a good job but expenses and being the sole earner for a family of 4 is difficult.
I agree. I’m in your position. With my wife working we would make about $100 more a year than the cost of childcare so we figured it’s probably worth it for her to stay home. If you think about it, divide your pay by 2, and that’s about what you and your spouse (I assume) make together to support everyone. One good job becomes about as good as 2 meh jobs.
I often feel I am underwater.
Yeah that’s exactly it. It only makes sense for my partner to work if she feels like it benefits her.
