68 points

Let me tell you about my American dream. Imagine if you will, every shit you take is a one whiper. Horrid diarrhea, one whiper, constipated shit tail that barely drops, one whiper, even your average everyday shit, a one whiper! Now imagine a welcome to your porcelain throne, a lid raising to greet you, a relaxing night nightlight, a preheated seat and even a pre-cleaning spray to ensure your shit doesn’t stick to the bowl… No more imagining, this is no longer a dream, this is in fact a top of the line Toto bidet brought to you by our friends from Japan. It’s time to invest, you deserve to have your hole automatically cleaned by a gentle heated oscillating spray and then dried with a nice warm blow. Leaving only one whipe for you to finish the drying process and to see for yourself, the magesty of a clean post whipe 3 sheets of toilet paper.

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31 points

This guy shits

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17 points

That’s just standard equipment for professional shitposters.

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18 points

Say ‘cool whipe’ again

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8 points
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7 points

I have two bidets, a Toto and a Brondell. Without the drying feature you would be correct on the the multiple whipes. However, in my experience after the drying function I only need one whipe. That whipe usually consists of three sheets. I also don’t have a very hairy ass, so that could also be a contributing factor to having multiple drying whipes. Regardless, it’s definitely a vast improvement compared to the standard American non bidet process.

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1 point

I just use your mother’s tongue.

It’s surprisingly cheap.

Whipe my ass.

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1 point

Do you mean the bidets you installato on top of the toilet or the actual

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2 points
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42 points

Ass hair is just an invention of Big Paper to force you to buy more toilet paper

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18 points

The jokes on them, I bought a bidet instead!

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33 points

If you have that much ass hair, does using a bidet technically count as doing laundry? 🤔

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9 points

Thoughts with the deep

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2 points

Yes, yes it does.

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27 points

That title 🤌

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3 points

☠️

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21 points

I hear it helps mute farts tough, so think twice before shaving.

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10 points

Prickly asshair stubble sounds like a nightmare. No thanks

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1 point

It’s not beard hair so it’s not as stiff. Nothing is as thick as beard hair. Use a clipper with a number 1 guard (1/8"). Less likely to blunt the hair ends, leaves some length to bend, and you won’t clip any skin folds. No ingrown either if that’s an issue.

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3 points

At least your ass doesn’t get as sweaty between the cheeks.
So chafing is definitely not an issue.

But to be honest: It looks so unsightly to me. I would prefer having the pre-puberty hair back there instead.

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3 points

Let me hear…

Yeah, it does!

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1 point

It only makes a difference if you’re not wearing pants

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Memes

!memes@lemmy.ml

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