I feel judged.

I literally keep a list on my phone of what you say in your sleep. Some of my favorites include:

• This is why I don’t date senators. (Still don’t know why)
• It’s soup day!
• I swear that spearfish is a hooker.
• Shut the fffffffffuck up. (Not directed at me)
• Ham ham ham ham ham ham ham…
• (Heavy sigh) I miss Zimbabwe. (Has never been to Zimbabwe)

Hi

It’s okay. He’s tone-deaf.

That’s the best thing I’ve ever seen!

Offer potato

Santa the other 11 months of the year

I’VE ONLY PLAYED THE FIRST. I’VE BEEN MEANING TO PLAY THE SECOND.

No, it’s a pocket for Kevin.