MYWNcWR9Rgc31zkhTOsA [they/them, she/her]
You are herby sentenced to be shot to death for the crime of being born in a certain country and not previously registering your interest in being shot to death. Absolutely cursed.
The poor lad just wanted to kill people in peace. Who could have known that he’d eventually be the one getting killed.
LibreTube is probably what you want. There’s no g**gle sign-in in third party yt clients though (vanced only has it bc it patches the official client) so you’ll need to export and import your subscriptions https://github.com/libre-tube/LibreTube
It seems like you’re just insecure in your identity (imposter syndrome is very common amongst trans folks) and you’re projecting. I don’t really have much in the way of advice about the insecurity aspect (I’ve been on hormones just over 4 years and still often feel like I’m not good enough and worry a lot about how others perceive me), but it seems that you have an awareness of your thoughts and behaviours and want to change them.
I would say, keep being mindful of yourself and challenging your behaviours when you notice them. Maybe some kind of support group could be helpful too, where you can see other people being vulnerable and hopefully learn to talk about your problems and insecurities and deal with them in a more helpful manner. There are quite a few (usually gendered) mostly allocishet groups in my area, though I personally feel much more comfortable in trans-only groups. The trans groups tend to break by age (-18, 18-25, 25-40, etc) and sometimes by trans masc / trans fem.
If you do decide to try monotherapy, gel is unlikely to give you blood e levels high enough to suppress testosterone production if it’s applied as directed (upper arms and thighs) https://transfemscience.org/articles/high-dose-transdermal-e2/ You can get higher levels by applying it to your scrotum, but it’s quite irritating https://transfemscience.org/articles/genital-e2-application/
If you want testosterone suppression without an AA, E injections are generally the best option. Vanna pharma is based in the uk and is reputable (not sure if I can post a link here, but the url is on diyhrt.cafe). Her product has a lower viscosity than Lena’s so you can get away with 29g fixed needles (higher gauge = thinner needle = less pain). You might need 27g or even luer syringes with a low gauge needle for drawing and a higher gauge for injecting if you order injectable e from elsewhere.
Here’s the 27g needles I used to use with Lena’s EV https://www.exchangesupplies.org/shopdisp_unisharp_fixed_1ml_green_27.php\ Drawing the product from the vial can blunten the tip a little, so occasionally an injection would be a little difficult and painful. It could also take several minutes in winter to draw 0.18ml into the syringe due to the higher viscosity.
Here’s the 29g I use with Vanna’s EV https://www.exchangesupplies.org/shopdisp_Unisharp_fixed_1ml_yellow_29.php\ These are thinner and I’m yet to have a painful injection. It takes around 15 seconds to draw 0.18ml at current temperatures (5-15C).
There are several different esters of estradiol available for injection https://transfemscience.org/articles/injectable-e2-meta-analysis/ , but the most common one is estradiol valerate which is often dosed at 0.18ml of 40mg/ml solution (0.18 x 40 = total dose of 7.2mg) every 5 days. Ideally you’d get a blood test after a couple of months so that you can check your levels and adjust your dosage accordingly.
1575 crackers found this offensive 😤
With a username like xxxSexMan69xxx@lemmy.blahaj.zone, he’s gotta be a chaser and should therefore be shunned.