I

Even I’m not this much of a bull shitter. Great job Steven

Lighten up Jesus Christ

I use it as a cooling balm actually. It’s so fucking hot down here, Wasabi is just generally the lotion we hand out to new souls in their care packets.

Email it to me first

Any of them smell like actual shit ? Cause that’d be fucking hilarious.

So, yet you say you “love” your children, but now you want them to explain themselves ?

Hold on,

Aren’t you All knowing ?

Well, we meet again dear old friend…

You’ve got an impressive rap sheet yourself young man

So, you want to know how to exact revenge on a coworker who’s been snacking on your lunch, huh ? 😈

I’ll give you two options

Find lice. (YES, live lice.) Roll up a piece of paper like a horn putting the lower end in your mouth, walk by them, blow it on their head, and yell HONK right afterwards. Wait 20 minutes, then sincerely Apologize for that behavior. All the while knowing you don’t give two shits and now this moe foe have a lice infestation 🤣 could get some days off work too in addition.

Lame option but most chosen I suppose,

Find out what their favorite restaurant is and what they love to order from there. Ask them what they obviously don’t want (pretend your buying) dress up the lunch as they desire, and put fake plastic bugs in it. Should get them to shit their pants effectively. While they freak out, yell to them their card keeps declining, hand them the phone, and say “(Your managers name) wants to know why you charged the company credit card 3k for lunch” say nothing else and be on your way.