This is your reminder that national polling doesn’t matter, and that you can win the presidency with roughly 20,000 votes

Like what happened to that dude from Metallica’s “One”

Yeah. There’s always a chance that a customer could have an issue on a weekend and then I’ve gotta fix it. Once I was on 27 hours of conference calls over a weekend. But as I’ve gotten better at my job those sorts of things happen less and less.

Honestly the worst part of my job is doing my timesheets and updating weekly status, but when the weather’s good I do that from my hammock with a cold beer in hand which makes it suck less.

I’m salaried so I don’t have a lunch break. I work from home so I basically set my own hours as long as I can be contacted from about 10am to 3pm and go to any meetings I have scheduled.

John Oliver showed me they’ll probably just call in a vet.

Maybe get some farmer with castration bands.

When I need to do stupid tasks like timesheets and emails I unplug. The lack of screen space means I don’t get distracted.

When I need to do hard work I dock my system and use my dual 4Ks to maximize visual bandwidth.

I bet the LGBTQ+ movement has done wonders for recruiting.

“Ve have footage of you haffink gay sex.”

“Yes, I’m gay. That’s my husband. The kids were finally gone for an hour so we had some fun.”

“Blyat.”

He didn’t lose shit. Square footage is what matters, not people.

I remember when iTunes was called SoundJam MP and that was much nicer than iTunes. I still miss its eclipse visualizer.

Which was when Slashdot was like BBS before the Eternal September