This has happened to me a few times. One I remember was the game Alchemist, where I just sat there confused as hell for 4 and a half hours while three guys were all talking about strategies. Tonight it was Terraforming Mars, where I was told it would be a 3 hour game, but by hour 4 we were halfway done. This time I said “it’s 11pm, I have work in the morning, this will be my last hand” and the host got very passive aggressive with me. I just don’t know what to do in these situations.
^Also is there a word for this? My girlfriend said I was “held game hostage” but I don’t see that used in my searches.^
Update: I sent an apology for leaving early, and he wasn’t too frustrated about it and understood my frustration which was nice. I told him I didn’t think it was my cup of tea since it was so dense, but he kept trying to sell me on the game.
I just gotta learn how to decline with this guy, he is a bit of a “won’t take no for an answer” person, but I’m still learning to be firm with boundaries.
I’m really a 45 minute or less person, and prefer games with like… 5 rules. I have communicated that before, but he really wants me to play the games he loves which I take as a compliment.
He did have me playing Dominion for a while, and that was a time when I just would suck it up and play for his sake since he was going through a divorce. We literally had the parks and rec sketch where I said “I don’t really like Dominion” and he said “what do you mean? You’ve played all the games!”
He housed me when I was homeless, so it’s hard for me to decline things with him since he showed me that huge kindness.
I am the person that loves long and complex games. If I have an upper limit for those qualities I have not found it yet, because it must be higher than those of all the players I’ve met.
So, I can’t really answer your question, but I think I can tell you why the rest of the table was pissed off, and maybe that will help you in some way.
You like a certain type of game, but it’s somewhat outside the mainstream, so it’s difficult to find a full group for it and gather them all at the table at the same time. You get excited, you finally get to play the game you have been itching for. You’re really having fun. Your strategy starts paying off. And then you don’t get to see it to completion because one person gets up and leaves. It might be weeks or months before you get another chance. You got your hopes up and then got left hanging. That sucks.
A similar situation is if you talked somebody into a game who didn’t want to play at first and just end up doing you a favor. In my experience, 9 times out of 10 they’re not going to have a good time, and they’ll drag the rest of the table down with them.
But here’s the kicker: After some painful lessons I know those things now. So I don’t nag people about playing with me anymore. I ask once, and then a no is a no. And I don’t invite people who I know have a short attention span to play long games with me. And I sure as hell don’t schedule a game night on a weekday where everybody needs to work tomorrow.
The person putting together the table has a responsibility to curate games that fit the audience or vice versa. Everybody else attending has a responsibility to be transparent about their availability and preferences.
I wouldn’t call “I need to go home because it’s 11PM and I work tomorrow” a “short attention span”. The fact that you’re characterizing it as such is … problematic.
