Comment by glimse@lemmy.world on What is your opinion?

To me, polyamory is in the same category as cuckolding in the sense that it’s none of my business…but I think it’s weird fetish.

I don’t feel like it’s possible to love multiple people simultaneously and equally. Anecdotally I know two people who have been in poly relationships and they were messy, both ending with one monogamous couple and the remaining person getting cast out.

I know that doesn’t describe every poly relationship… that’s just my own secondhand experience and I haven’t seen anything to offset it.

But…it’s not my life so I wasn’t gonna stop them. I just wouldn’t recommend anyone try it

Polyamory is not a fetish and is not related to sex at all. People who practice polyamory CAN have sex but that’s not what polyamory is. The people who do poly just to get laid are the ones that fail.

(Source: currently engaged to my fiancé and about to celebrate my 1 year with my bf. Nothing sexual about it… Just a lot of love)

Glad it’s working for you. I think too many people get caught up in the idea without thinking it through which inevitably leads to fallout.

That’s the big thing. Polyamory is a LOT of work and most people don’t want to put that effort in.

It’s also just in general not for everyone. Nothing is for everyone… but I feel like every time I see people online generally talking about polyamory it’s always examples of people who didn’t want to put in the work, doing it poorly.

Just because it isn’t for everyone doesn’t mean it can never work. It’s a lot better for people to be talking about healthy ways to do it so people who would enjoy polyamory can do it correctly the first time.

The main issue is people who aren’t mature enough for ONE relationship thinking they can handle MULTIPLE relationships simultaneously.

Also, you hear a lot about the poly horror stories (sure, there are lots of them) but people seem to ignore the fact that normal relationships experience all the same horror stories.

Exactly my thoughts as well!

Poly is not the reason that you can’t communicate, Steven.

And also the people who are definitely the problem sure are drawn to the idea of getting multiple partners at once

Hence why I’d discourage people from trying it but wouldn’t interfere if they were already doing it. If it works, it works…but it doesn’t work for 99% of people.

Oh you ran the numbers, eh?

I think this might be the worst post in this thread.

Like, you admit you have no experience and don’t really know what you’re talking about, but you didn’t let that stop you.

OP literally asked “what is your opinion” to an open forum

Ok. Some opinions are bad.

Ok. I was pretty clear that I was only speaking about the polyamory I’ve personally seen in my own life.

Meanwhile, you’ve come to this post to add absolutely nothing to the conversation. Not sure how you could write something so useless and then accuse me of having the the worst comment here.

Maven, a person with first-hand experience with polyamory, managed to refute my opinion while adding to the conversation.

You’re the comic underling popping out behind the boss to say “yeah, what they said!”

You know what?

I’m sorry I came at you with such hostility.

I’ve done polyamory for a long time and “it’s just a fetish” and “it doesn’t work” hit a nerve. I’m glad other people made more patient, effective, comments.

Thanks. I shouldn’t have called it a fetish but after being told otherwise, I didn’t want to be the kind of person to edit their comments to make themselves look better. I still do think that polyamory doesn’t work for the vast majority of people (which seems to be a popular opinion even with the polyamorous) but I’m not an outspoken critic or anything.

I WOULD still discourage my friends from trying it because…I know them very, very well. They’d be the “transitional” polyamory couples spoken about elsewhere in this post. But if they went for it, I wouldn’t look down on them for it. I never said anything negative to the two that have already tried and failed, either.

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