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23 points

“No, bro, trust me, the omnipotent and omniscient creator and ruler of the Universe cares deeply about what happens on a ball of rock comprising a rounding error of a rounding error of a rounding error of fifty more rounding errors of that Universe as it specifically pertains to a species of hairless ape having gay sex, eating shellfish and owls, mixing fabrics, grabbing their husbands’ genitals, and building unsafe roofs. ‘Did I miss my clozapine injection?’ Why do you ask?”

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3 points

*not that we are advocating for the eating of owls.

Right?

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7 points

Nah, I’m vegan, and I don’t know how I would get my protein without eating owls. Necessary sacrifices sometimes need to be made.

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5 points

Well if you say some magic words to a cracker it’ll turn into an edible dead guy so that’s another option.

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