Take your fucking socks and sandals and march your ass right out of my open air brick patio, sir.

This one right here, officer. He’s a menace.

You monster! How do you even know if they’re tongy enough?

I can almost forgive some of these others. But I don’t understand how a person, much less a dad, could even begin to commit such an attrocity. The second I don’t click the tongs, tweezers, hell even scissors, you will know that I have been compromised.

You make me sick.

I clack them to the terminator theme. Even if I didn’t want to, I don’t think I could avoid it.

But how do you know they are working if you don’t clack them?

liers anonymous next room

This is genuinely upsetting. How could you

Is it really grilling if there’s no clacking?

You just lost grilling privileges.

I’ve always wanted to ask someone who is into doing it. Since I’ve got you here, what satisfaction do you derive from posting outright lies and falsehoods on the internet?