Personal background: I strongly feel just about everyone grows up and has something shitty about them. I know growing up I definitely thought and said some less-than-ideal jokes about women, minorities, etc. And while some of that was the proverbial ‘the times’, and some was growing up in a sheltered hyper Christian southern American conservative situation, I regret my actions and am happy I grew past that. And I do think people, especially younger, can grow past their shittiness, especially with the help of others, which was true for me too… When I got my first W2 job a superior I looked up to helped mold me into a better person by calling me out on things and modeling a better behavior.

Current situation: I’m now the supervisor position, have been for a decade (retail is a trap) and I’ve taken that to heart, calling out jokes that aren’t funny, etc. But recently we hired a new kid who acts really incel-ish, and who apparently has attached himself to me instantly. I’ve had moderate success so far just telling him his ‘lol women dumb’ jokes aren’t funny, and modeling how working with women is… normal? Anyways, I don’t wanna screw this up so do y’all have any suggestions for me to help keep him from going down an unfortunate path? I know at the end of the day I’m not responsible for others’ routes in life, but I feel we should all do our parts.

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18 points

You ultimately aren’t responsible for this person’s behavior, but I understand wanting to help them. Calling him out for bad behavior is definitely a good way to go, try not to be harsh though. Maybe push him to try and become friends with a female coworker. If they’re friends with a girl they aren’t necessarily sexually attracted to, it’s a great way to teach him to view girls as regular people.

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43 points

Maybe push him to try and become friends with a female coworker.

Please ask her before you use her to teach a lesson.

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15 points

Encouraging them to seek out a female friend isn’t using the seeked out person as a lesson. What an weird way to interpret that.

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24 points

It sounds like you’ve never had the experience of being the woman used as a lesson, and I’m really glad for you. I’m sorry you think my lived experience is weird! Blessed be.

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10 points
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You gotta admit, you did specify female coworker. You sound well intentioned but I cant say your plan is not without its issues

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7 points

You should really have the decency to contemplate why a woman would not want that before you tell her she’s wrong for not wanting it.

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