Look, it’s simple
She needs to be beautiful, but not too beautiful because otherwise I think she’s overly vain
She needs to be smart, but not so smart she threatens my intelligence
She needs to be funny, but not more funny than I am
She needs to have political beliefs that align with mine
She needs to be straight, not political
She needs to be able to pass for white, not political
America Ferrera’s speech in the Barbie movie sums it up nicely:
spoiler
"It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.
You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that’s crass. You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean. You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas. You’re supposed to love being a mother, but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men’s bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining. You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood.
But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line.
It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.
I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don’t even know."
I think the ideology implied in the post is that they must not be funny or intelligent, but merely quiet and agreeable, and that there is no such thing as “too pretty” and anyone saying so is a feminist trying to make women ugly. Rather, she needs to look like someone who models as a full time job but never talk about the work done for if and never or rarely be visibly doing that work (the work of keeping up that appearance, obviously she can’t be an actual model because then she is vain).
