For me I say that a truck with a cab longer than its bed is not a truck, but an SUV with an overgrown bumper.
Well, the problem imo are often cis men and it is hard to have a safe space with them. I’ve just experienced too much abusive behavior by them and men usually help each other out and therefore promote abusive behavior.
I am deeply sorry about the abuse you experienced and think it’s unfair to paint an entire gender in that light. My mom was incredibly abusive and I would never blame all women for that, just her as an individual.
Well, my mom is abusive, too. But cis men being abusive is something structural. That is the difference between the two.
And sure, I know that cis men are just people like everybody else and they also suffer from patriarchy. But in the same time they just don’t show any (or not enough) progress in emancipating themselves from their roles as men. I’m not against the humans that are cis men per se, but I would love to see manhood abolished and these same people to be free themselves. But I guess the problem is that most of them have so many privileges and perceive themselves as the default humans that they have a hard time reflecting upon their role and their privileges.
while i am sympathetic to the how and why of this position–and i certainly don’t think you mean to come off this way–i would just like to chime in and say that at least some of this feels dangerously close to misandry and i can definitely see why people are uncomfortable with it beyond the usual objections to not being treated as the default.
I would try to remember that we are in fact trying to form a safe space here which does include a number of cis men. I don’t want to invalidate your experiences at all, because some people are shitty people and as humans we tend to notice patterns, but your initial comment was rather callous toward people who haven’t done anything wrong.
That said, I appreciate this elaboration and clarification of your intent. When it’s always the same kind of people knocking you down, it can be hard not to make an immediate judgment of someone who has similar qualities and I can understand where you’re coming from even if I don’t agree. If every cat I ever met scratched me, the friendliest cat in the world is going to be viewed with suspicion. Just please try to remember that generalizations like that aren’t really nice to those they are directed at.
I appreciate your comment :)
And it’s not only that cis men are frequently shitty, it is that they have such a hard time relflecting upon and sharing their privileges with others. I get it’s hard to step away from the perspective that you are the center of the universe when you’ve been told so since early childhood. But that just makes 95% of cis men assholes in my experience. And yes, I actually mean 95%. They treat you like an object or a human of second class*. And I’m sorry if I offend the remaining 4-5% of cis men, but it should be their responsibility to teach the others. All of my straight friends who are women either complain about not finding a suitable partner because the available cis men just don’t fulfill basic requirements, or they settle with the shitty behavior of cis men and then complain to me about it.
* Maybe this sounds like I’m surrounding myself with shitty people. But these are mostly progressive and “emancipatory” cis men I’m talking about.
This is incredibly misandrist, sexist and offensive. I am for all equality and this is clear bigotry targeting a gender and generalizing with made up statistics. This type of rhetoric is no different to me than a male incel spewing hatred about women, it’s unacceptable.
Beehaw apparently prides itself on being a welcome and inclusive community and this is completely counter to it. I cannot imagine a man being able to write the things you’re writing about women and getting away with it on here. You’ve already been warned by an admin that your rhetoric is misandrist and you keep going.
So is Beehaw actually an inclusive community or is it hypocritical and tolerating these types of comments about someone’s gender? I’d genuinely like to know. I had actually deleted my original account and have come back to make this one last comment. Beehaw defederates from instances like Lemmy.world for being problematic and yet I haven’t seen a single comment about women, men or anyone else that targets them to this level there. Is claiming 95% of a gender are awful acceptable to say here because it’s men? Does this site actually strive for the equality and inclusiveness it claims or is that false?
