Look, it’s the standard American recipe, as dictated by George Washington himself. Every American is born knowing this recipe, like how we all know how to make a s’more.

You take a pig (probably from the natives) and you cut off its ass. Throw the rest away because efficiency is for the goddamn communists. Puree this ass for about 90 minutes. Add high fructose corn syrup because lobbying. Extrude (squirt) it into a plastic forever chemical tube then microwave on high for 17:76. Serve 10 of these with 8 buns, because certain people just don’t deserve bread.

…apple pie and Chevrolet.