You use the cleaning function first, then the dry function. Don’t just dry the shit on there (well, maybe you would, but everyone else washes first, that’s the point of a bidet).

You could put the towel in the wash if you’re initially doing poor job of cleaning.

• The jet spray from a bidet removes shit thoroughly from the ass cracks. Since bidets are effective at cleaning, it should not leave any poop stains.

• You don’t use them while sitting. After you’re done with ass-washing, you get up from the toilet seat and dry your butt.

• You’re not supposed to rub it, unless you want a bloodied, dangling rectum. It is used to absorb water, because the debris has already been dealt with by the bidet.

• People shit only once or twice per day. The towel is replaced after 12 hours, or sometime even after every use, so what’s exactly wrong with it?

• It isn’t supposed to be shared. I mean, you wouldn’t share a hanky or a body towel with someone else, would you?

• Most people from around the world, especially in Europe and Asia, do this, so it is normal?

• Eco-friendly? No paper is being wasted. Also no jammed toilets.

You’re supposed to clean your ass first, my friend