“If we can eliminate suffering why did I suffer?” A lot of people justify their trials and tribulations as well as a coping mechanism, but eliminating them dimmishing the copeing.
Pretty much. It’s the “kids have it so easy these days” resentment. The “I suffered, so they should too” mentality. People tell themselves that their suffering made them stronger because it helps them cope with the fact that their life fucking sucked for a while. Or they tell themselves that they were able to come out on top through sheer willpower, (even if there was a lot of luck/nepotism/etc involved too,) so anyone else should be able to as well.
It’s true. So much suffering is needless and pointless and rather than accept that and work to eliminate needless, pointless suffering for others, which is exactly what would make suffering meaningful, so many would make sure others suffer worse. It’s sick. We need healing but that doesn’t serve billionaires, or capitalism.
Empathy, and how it relates to fairness.
Consider the premise: “I had to suffer to get where I am today.” Disregarding nuance, there are two polarized takes when confronted with improvement of the situations:
- I suffered and so should the next guy.
- I don’t want anyone to suffer like I did.
We see a stark difference in outlook, but it’s hard to see a justification. My theory is that it has to do with fairness. Watch this:
- I suffered and so should the next guy, it’s only fair.
- I don’t want anyone to suffer like I did, what I experienced was unfair.
I think this is the thinking that explains everyone’s observations, while letting everyone maintain some degree of rationality. The trick is not about whether or not someone empathizes at all, but rather how they prioritize empathy with respect to their own suffering. From there one determines what is fair or unfair about past and future events.