Empathy, and how it relates to fairness.

Consider the premise: “I had to suffer to get where I am today.” Disregarding nuance, there are two polarized takes when confronted with improvement of the situations:

• I suffered and so should the next guy.
• I don’t want anyone to suffer like I did.

We see a stark difference in outlook, but it’s hard to see a justification. My theory is that it has to do with fairness. Watch this:

• I suffered and so should the next guy, it’s only fair.
• I don’t want anyone to suffer like I did, what I experienced was unfair.

I think this is the thinking that explains everyone’s observations, while letting everyone maintain some degree of rationality. The trick is not about whether or not someone empathizes at all, but rather how they prioritize empathy with respect to their own suffering. From there one determines what is fair or unfair about past and future events.