As much as I understand your opinion, I’m really struggling to understand how couples meet outside of apps now. I’ve been in a long-term monogamous relationship for more than 20 years, I’m completely out of the loop.
I’ve been single for five years now.
I got rid of social media and then COVID hit.
I honestly don’t even know how to socialize anymore let alone date.
Fortunately or unfortunately as the case may be, my relationship history has me so jaded, that I really don’t have any desire to date.
If I did desire such a thing, I have no idea how I would go about it. There aren’t any more physical community places unless you wanna go get shitfaced in a bar, and I’m long since past those days.
Bars/Pubs. The booze helps lubricate those social wheels. Or friends of friends being introduced to each other.
But honestly anywhere could be a place to meet someone if you’re not a creep about it and don’t try to force it.
Kinda sucks when you don’t drink though. Best advice I’ve heard was to take up a social hobby, but I haven’t a clue what that would be either.
Like you said, find an excuse to leave your house I guess.
I think there need to be social locations like bars for people who don’t drink (or don’t drink a lot) but do use cannabis. Weed “bars” where you can have a similar social situation with a different type of social lubricant that gets people talking.
That still wouldn’t cover everyone, obviously, but it would add to the mix.
Best advice I’ve heard was to take up a social hobby, but I haven’t a clue what that would be either.
The problem with that is that I have zero tolerance for stupidity and superstition, so I’d have a lousy time in most conversations or initial dates.
“What sign are you?”
“Check!”
…
“What church do you go to?”
“Check!”
Oh man, I know that feeling all too well! MySpace was a thing when I was last dating, so it’s like an entire world has passed by. A while back, I was at a bar with a friend, and he let me swipe through Tinder on his account while he got a round in, and having that kind of easy access to dating when I was younger would’ve been absolutely petrifying.
Have been in a monogamous relationship for a while as well. I think that the rreliance on apps is a false need, cultivated to make more money on said apps as their goal isn’t to lose customers by finding good matches but to keep extracting profits. There’s a significant conflict of interest that makes me think that they are little more than a scam that ocassionally helps people hook-up despite the companies’ best efforts.
Glad that I don’t have to deal with dating and dread the idea that I may have to in the future because I hate it but my suggestions would be:
If looking to cultivate something with long-term potential, put relationship goals on the backburner and participate in an interest that has a possible social component. If one is genuinely interested, they will find people who find them interesting.
If looking to get laid, probably bars in the US (unfortunately, not usually a great place to meet people just looking to socialize, unlike Ireland or the UK).
Alternatively, if one is into kinks or curious and able to be not creepy (can be extra challenging for single men), getting involved with a kink/fetish community that does non-play meet-ups might be a good option. As noted, it can be a bit of a challenge for single men to get accepted, but is not impossible. This is because such groups tend to be very zealous about protecting their community and single men have historically been higher-risk for abuse, assault, and not honoring kink contracts. (As a man, I don’t like the discrimination but do understand and agree with it as I’d rather some guy get hurt feelings than someone end up in the ICU or a dumpster).
