Let’s say both the guy and girl make the same amount of money and are both good at and enjoy cooking and cleaning.
Would it be wrong for a guy to want the girl to give equal contribution financially to the relationship if he’s also willing and capable of contributing equally to domestic duties?
In this same scenario, would it be wrong for him to expect her to cook and clean if he’s expected to handle the financial aspects of the relationship?
Morally, probably yes.
Socially, the girl has more bargaining power to do some house chores and have the guy pay for room and board.
Relationships are ongoing negotiations.
I think I see where you are coming from, but I have found that expecting “falling in love” instead of intentionally choosing to love makes a relationship short term aka that lasts for a couple years max. When I don’t negotiate and choose love intentionally, a lot more of the missed expectation of “reading my mind because you love me” stuff goes on.
What does a healthy relationship look like to you?
That third paragraph says it all lol
Just help around the house dude.
What is your agenda here? It seems very pointed.
My advice is to just be open and honest, and most good people will be fair in response.
He wants to belittle his partner because he makes the money and thinks his partner should be doing the chores by default.
Wait till they realize sometimes it’s not always going to be fair. My wife got laid off, but then a week later diagnosed with a back issue that put her in bed for several weeks. That meant I had to go to work as usual, do all the housework myself including the cooking, take care of the pets, etc. It was a lot and sometimes stressful but I did it without complaint because I love my wife. When we had company coming and she was feeling better I asked her if she could take on a few of the lighter duties, and guess what, she did it without complaining because she loves me right back.
March will be 25 years together.
It’s interesting how much you assumed of my intentions based on me asking an honest question.
I asked because I had a conversation about this with someone I was saw as a dating potential. We both went to the same school, took the same classes, and make around the same salary-wise. She asked why I haven’t dated her yet and it was because she has expectations of a relationship that didn’t align with mine.
Household expenses should be split such that you both have the same amount of money left after the bills are paid.
Housework should be split such that you both have the same amount of leisure time.
Higher earners should not be regarding their lower paid partners as housekeepers, no. Pull your weight at home or GTFO.
If this actually needs discussion between you and can not be taken as a given, then the relationship is not on a level that I would recommend joining households.
