Let’s say both the guy and girl make the same amount of money and are both good at and enjoy cooking and cleaning.
Would it be wrong for a guy to want the girl to give equal contribution financially to the relationship if he’s also willing and capable of contributing equally to domestic duties?
In this same scenario, would it be wrong for him to expect her to cook and clean if he’s expected to handle the financial aspects of the relationship?
Morally, probably yes.
Socially, the girl has more bargaining power to do some house chores and have the guy pay for room and board.
Relationships are ongoing negotiations.
I think I see where you are coming from, but I have found that expecting “falling in love” instead of intentionally choosing to love makes a relationship short term aka that lasts for a couple years max. When I don’t negotiate and choose love intentionally, a lot more of the missed expectation of “reading my mind because you love me” stuff goes on.
What does a healthy relationship look like to you?
Surely there are no hard and fast rules in any relationship. It works for some, and not for others. Instead of looking for a universal rule, from which to judge the ‘quality’ of your relationship, you need to communicate your needs and opinions to your SO and come to a mutual solution. You also get to decide if that solution is what you need in an SO. Surprise, so does she. Incompatible means incompatible, unfortunately, but better to get it out in the open and part ways amicably than get burdened with a civil union and a messy breakup.
Its up to you and your partner to find a arrangement that works for both of you and makes you both happy. It really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.
Expenses equal by amount of contributions
Expenses equal by % of income contributions
Expenses equal by time required to make the money
or any other division of labor and income
When my wife and I got together, she made double what I did. It didn’t necessarily make me feel guilty or bad, but I definitely felt the need to contribute. So, I took over food. I meal plan, do groceries, cook and clean up for essentially 100% of meals. On a rare occasion she’ll want a meal on the weekends that I don’t care for and she will buy and cook the meal. I also do 100% of the maintenance outside the house.
In general, she takes care of the big bills and I get the little ones, plus all the manual labor.
What is your agenda here? It seems very pointed.
My advice is to just be open and honest, and most good people will be fair in response.
He wants to belittle his partner because he makes the money and thinks his partner should be doing the chores by default.
Wait till they realize sometimes it’s not always going to be fair. My wife got laid off, but then a week later diagnosed with a back issue that put her in bed for several weeks. That meant I had to go to work as usual, do all the housework myself including the cooking, take care of the pets, etc. It was a lot and sometimes stressful but I did it without complaint because I love my wife. When we had company coming and she was feeling better I asked her if she could take on a few of the lighter duties, and guess what, she did it without complaining because she loves me right back.
March will be 25 years together.
It’s interesting how much you assumed of my intentions based on me asking an honest question.
I asked because I had a conversation about this with someone I was saw as a dating potential. We both went to the same school, took the same classes, and make around the same salary-wise. She asked why I haven’t dated her yet and it was because she has expectations of a relationship that didn’t align with mine.
