Finally a bright side to being such a light sleeper that my cats are not allowed in the bedroom!
One of our cats will violently paw at a door for at least half an hour when needed.
Some years ago when I was working for crap pay all the time, my cat learned to get attention when I’d run in to use the powder room. After that job was over, I could never shut the door to do my business while he was alive, for that reason.
I’d also ask why whoever wrote this has giant spiders in their bedroom.
As dear old dad used to say, “I’ll beat everybody involved!”
Or, joking about the dogs, “I’ll beat the big one with the little one!” Although I’m not sure how much asswhooping you can get done with a spider carcass. Shelob maybe?
My cat once brought me a frog. He was an indoor cat and we were on the 2nd floor. I do not know where the frog came from.
Imagine breaking the frog record for jumping and then getting eaten by a fucking cat before getting to pass on your genes.
That genuinely made me laugh, thank you OP!
My cat brings frogs and shelobs too, but from outside.
Sometimes also mouthfuls of ragweed from a pond, so he has a big green beard and he goes and gets more and piles it up next to me.
The pond plants are fine.
The fully alive animals that he then allows to roam free, not so much.
Bonus memory: oh, Biz looks like he’s got a weird whisker twitch… get up close nope it’s half a giant spider fighting for freedom and vengeance. Spat it out on my lap. Extremely high pitch noises ensue.