These apps seem to encourage ‘transactional’ behaviour. Less so in my experience irl. Best formula someone gave me was: get involved with something you enjoy, a club or activity. Meet people through this. Get to know them with the pressure off (as you’re enjoying whatever the activity is). Meet people through activities to form proper relationships, was his take.
I’d love to know if this has actually worked for someone.
Never worked for me. Most things I’m interested in have few women doing it, and I’m very shy anyway.
Met my husband playing an MMORPG. It grew naturally from regular chatting in guild to hanging out and doing random stuff in-game together to feelings. We’ve been married for over 15 years now.
The trick was that neither of us was looking for romance and treated each other as friends until we gradually came to realize we really liked each other’s company more than a friendly amount. I think that’s the thing a lot of people get wrong; people get so worried about their love lives that they forget to just treat others as people instead of as potential partners.
Yes. I met my now-wife playing D&D. I created a new group a friend asked if his friend could come. Turned into watching Babylon 5 together outside of the game.
Doesn’t work for me. When I’m enjoying my activities it is just that, not being there with a plan B the back of my mind. I get that this is not what you are saying, but I find it more comforting to keep dating and activities separated.
It worked for me. My wife and I met in a student group in college. Although, that wasn’t my motivation for joining the group.
I could definitely see this strategy being more viable in a college setting where everyone is meeting new people and forming new friendships than in general sports clubs etc.
Dating apps incentivize bad behavior and the fuckers who run the dating apps do nothing about it.
Never been ghosted, but I was on Tinder for 4 years (no, I didn’t swipe every day) before finally finding someone. Went on like a date a year because most conversations just fizzled out before even meeting IRL and I’m not the most attractive physically, which kinda plays a role in the total amount of matches. I might have had about one a week on average.
3 months in and so far this is the most amazing woman I’ve ever dated and I hope this is not a temporary feeling, because rn I feel like she’s an absolute keeper and my friends seem to agree too.
Point being: keep your options open, have accounts on popular dating apps just in case you accidentally swipe right on your soulmate. But don’t hope for anything because you’ll be disappointed. It’s all random chance and your chances are low so things take time.
I once heard a woman say that dating apps basically turned dating into shopping. To be clear, she was criticizing the effect that the apps have had on dating and society. It takes something that should be deeply personal and basically commercializes it to an experience no deeper than choosing your next purse, and if that purse has issues with being treated like stuff, well, guess I don’t need that purse. Ofc, I’m a dude, and was lucky enough to avoid all this bullshit, so I can’t speak from personal experience.
Should’ve unmatched her or ghosted the second she canceled the first date. She laughed at anon because he has no self respect or awareness; she saw him still thinking he isn’t just a number after she clearly blew him off twice in his face.
People suck dude. It’s bumble, she has to message first. Then she blew him off. At that point it’s less about the date and more about finding out why. My best guess would be that she also messaged another guy she liked more and he finally responded, so she cancelled the date with this other guy, but didn’t want to tell him no in case this dude fell through.
He was second choice. Or third. I’m just glad I’m married, and NOT to an American born woman. Foreign women are way better.
Having dated, and married, foreign women I wouldn’t say they’re better, just different.
But I agree with the first part, she probably had competing priorities or another date, and she was cool with him until something else popped up. Once could just be coincidence, but twice is a no go