Ahh yes… This is relatable. Breaks are necessary with the apps before you go completely mad. Shitty people/behaviour is a part of living life, unfortunately.
These apps seem to encourage ‘transactional’ behaviour. Less so in my experience irl. Best formula someone gave me was: get involved with something you enjoy, a club or activity. Meet people through this. Get to know them with the pressure off (as you’re enjoying whatever the activity is). Meet people through activities to form proper relationships, was his take.
I’d love to know if this has actually worked for someone.
Yes. I met my now-wife playing D&D. I created a new group a friend asked if his friend could come. Turned into watching Babylon 5 together outside of the game.
Doesn’t work for me. When I’m enjoying my activities it is just that, not being there with a plan B the back of my mind. I get that this is not what you are saying, but I find it more comforting to keep dating and activities separated.
Never worked for me. Most things I’m interested in have few women doing it, and I’m very shy anyway.
It worked for me. My wife and I met in a student group in college. Although, that wasn’t my motivation for joining the group.
I could definitely see this strategy being more viable in a college setting where everyone is meeting new people and forming new friendships than in general sports clubs etc.
Met my husband playing an MMORPG. It grew naturally from regular chatting in guild to hanging out and doing random stuff in-game together to feelings. We’ve been married for over 15 years now.
The trick was that neither of us was looking for romance and treated each other as friends until we gradually came to realize we really liked each other’s company more than a friendly amount. I think that’s the thing a lot of people get wrong; people get so worried about their love lives that they forget to just treat others as people instead of as potential partners.
Apps have a weird power structure. They make anyone feel like a beggar. Social hobbies are a better way to meet people if you live in a reasonably populous area. I personally have interesting accessories to give people an in to a conversation that traditionally works fairly well when at an event or in public. Homemade rings, and interesting watch, inordinary boots, a cool lighter, a fountain pen, antique thrifted jackets, necklaces made of fossils, anything stand out that someone can comment on if they take an interest in you starts a conversation and doesn’t require begging the upper hand for attention like dating apps do.
Should’ve unmatched her or ghosted the second she canceled the first date. She laughed at anon because he has no self respect or awareness; she saw him still thinking he isn’t just a number after she clearly blew him off twice in his face.
People suck dude. It’s bumble, she has to message first. Then she blew him off. At that point it’s less about the date and more about finding out why. My best guess would be that she also messaged another guy she liked more and he finally responded, so she cancelled the date with this other guy, but didn’t want to tell him no in case this dude fell through.
He was second choice. Or third. I’m just glad I’m married, and NOT to an American born woman. Foreign women are way better.
Having dated, and married, foreign women I wouldn’t say they’re better, just different.
But I agree with the first part, she probably had competing priorities or another date, and she was cool with him until something else popped up. Once could just be coincidence, but twice is a no go
We’re all sociopaths now.