I mean, sure, at this point why not?

128 points
*

Many people are saying Viktor Autobahn, who invented highways, is a Turkish Delight. Bigly people. You wouldn’t believe it. They come to me and they say “Mr. President Sir, have you seen what he’s doing with the cars and the trucks? He’s got them driving on roads and it’s wonderful.” And I say of course! The cars need roads tremendous roads and that’s why when I win in 2024 I’m going to build so many highways and roads and streets. The democrats said “let’s not have streets, we need to drive horses” can you believe that, folks? They were going to take away the roads and the driveways and we weren’t gonna have any more hotdog carts because there’d be no streets! You want a hot dog you can forget about it. The democrats weren’t going to let you have any hotdogs.

permalink
report
reply
26 points

Ain’t nobody’s business but the Turks’.

permalink
report
parent
reply
24 points

My brain broke trying to read this, so well done!

permalink
report
parent
reply
15 points

The key with Trump is at the beginning, middle and end of the speech should have absolutely no bearing on each other.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

I used to enjoy going on jokey old man ramblerants like that. This fucker ruined it for us all.

permalink
report
parent
reply
19 points

We’ve reached a sad point in time, when one thinks “Surely, that’s not something he really said.” but, in the back of your mind you’re still not 100% sure that he didn’t actually say it.

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

like this gem:

“Look, having nuclear — my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart — you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I’m one of the smartest people anywhere in the world — it’s true! — but when you’re a conservative Republican they try — oh, do they do a number — that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune — you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged — but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are (nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what’s going to happen and he was right — who would have thought?), but when you look at what’s going on with the four prisoners — now it used to be three, now it’s four — but when it was three and even now, I would have said it’s all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years — but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us.”

permalink
report
parent
reply
68 points

How come it’s Biden and not Turnip who has the ‘too old and senile’ tag in the media?

permalink
report
reply
41 points

If you say a thing often enough people start to believe it. Because people are fucking morons.

permalink
report
parent
reply
9 points

Trump is animated by amphetamines when he’s in public.

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

Because even a 20 year younger Trump would not be any better or smarter. So its not an age thing with him, but an asshole and idiot thing

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

For the same reason people think that 20 bucks is too expensive, but 19.99 is cheap enough. 77 ain’t far off from 80 in reality. No matter how you play it, biases play a huge role in our perception.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

The claim is purported by media supporting him

permalink
report
parent
reply
48 points

The photo, Mr. Trump is doing the “Double dick jerk off” impression

permalink
report
reply
22 points

It’s not my best work, but here you go.

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

Stunning. It should hang in the Louvre.

permalink
report
parent
reply
15 points

People are saying I do the best bukkake. I met a guy who’s a bukkake expert and do you know what he told me? He said, “Sir, you bukkake so perfectly. So perfectly.” Can you believe that?

permalink
report
parent
reply
13 points

And, is it just me, or is he even more orange than usual?

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points
*

He said he was the best father to two of his sons… 🤔

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points

I don’t think he knows about the D2F ratio.

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

He likes it in his eyes

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

Middle out

permalink
report
parent
reply
37 points
*
Deleted by creator
permalink
report
reply
11 points

It’s cause he had no idea who he was until someome on his team told him

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

Have you ever heard of the high elves?

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point
*

yes, once [puff puff]

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

Also just demonstrates how much he really believes that the people he’s talking to are complete and utter morons and that he’s this absolute genius.

permalink
report
parent
reply
25 points

I’m not sure if he is declining or about the same? At least he got the names right this time. I would half expect to hear about “President Arby’s of Nambia” or some shit.

permalink
report
reply
13 points

He got the country wrong though. Victor Orban is the leader of Hungry. Erdogan is the leader of turkey…and if I recall correctly those two know each other too.

permalink
report
parent
reply
11 points

Sure, but is that any worse than calling the CEO of Apple Tim Apple?

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

It’s along the level of this insult. At the level of statesmanship you expect from a president of a country, that’s not a mistake you make. For someone calling his general election opponent senile, it seems like he’s living in a glass house with a slingshot.

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

Yeah, I know, I’m surprised that’s all he mixed up.

permalink
report
parent
reply
8 points

“crime in cities. They STILL haven’t caught THE hamburgler! SAD”

permalink
report
parent
reply

Not The Onion

!nottheonion@lemmy.world

Create post

Welcome

We’re not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from…
  2. …credible sources, with…
  3. …their original headlines, that…
  4. …would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

Community stats

  • 5.2K

    Monthly active users

  • 965

    Posts

  • 34K

    Comments

Community moderators