The barber after you leave: Damn dude I just fucked that guys head up
My tattoo artist said that in the middle of my tattoo! Thankfully he was able to fix it.
This is why I cut my own hair. Whose fault is it that I look like an off-brand nazi? You in the mirror, you’re a fucking hack. Learn to use scissors!
What kind of shit barbers do you guys all go to lol
Man, I moved to a new city a little over a year ago and am still struggling to find a barber that can give me a proper cut. I thought it would be easier out here because I’m mixed and moved from a city that’s 86% white to one that’s that’s like 46% black. Nope. The black barbers look at me like “wtf are you doing here” and give me a rush job. The Latinos give me the cold shoulder because they think I’m also Latino and seem offended I don’t speak Spanish, so they give me a rush cut too. The white folks do try, but they don’t see a lot of clients with textured hair. I just miss the rude ass Brooklyn Puerto Rican that cut my hair back in my old city. He wasn’t friendly, but you didn’t leave his chair looking like a clown.
This is going to sound risky, but when you sit down in the chair, and they ask you what you want, just vaguely let them know and don’t get descriptive. Any styling questions outside of the broad “longer on the top shorter on the bottom, a fade, etc” just say I’m gonna trust your judgement on that. I used to get my shit fucked up constantly then tried the hands off approach and have never gone back. I don’t even have any one barber, works pretty much every time.
I go pretty specific with instructions for new barbers.
Mid-high bald fade, combed back and to the right, edged up in the front only if I have a special event. No hard part because I think it looks a little too urban for my corporate job. On the top shorter, but I still want to be able to comb it over. Like .5-1inch off every 3-4 weeks. Tryina look like G-Easy or some shit.
I wish I could pull off the cesar cut or as I colloquially like to call it, the Edgar cut.
I’m usually not too specific, I just tell them a high zero fade on the sides and trim the top. The issue is that they don’t seem to know how to handle the transition from the top edge. They either don’t bring it down enough, so it’s pointing out like a shelf over the sides, or they go too far in giving me some kind of weird fauxmo. Maybe I’ll just tell them short fade on the sides, idk.
I only trust my GTA San Andreas barber, fam. I come in with a buzz cut and that dude makes it into a flat top, amazing display of art!
I know a confusingly large number of people who get their hair cut like this on purpose. I don’t get it. They look like Playmobil figures
