For the past 30 or so years I can truly write that only my wife hits those three marks. And she’s there doing it everyday. I adore her.
Yesterday.
And i make it a point to make sure i make everyone i meet feel heard and seen. So, i might wave at people collecting garbage, i make eye contact with the cassier en give them a warm smile, while wishing them a nice day. I might smile at random strangers in the street. I have had beautiful experiences doing this, and quite frequently people give me this startled look and then hesitantly smile back. And i do this sincerely, because i truly belief most people have a hard time already and i want to give them at least a nice moment in the day.
It makes life so much better. For people i meet and for myself as well.
Honestly, this can be very much be done and people crave it. People crave being noticed and affirmed and getting to engage with others on more than just a superficial level (as long as you respect their boundaries and recover if you faux pas at some point). People can be very gracious/graceful when someone reaches out to them in this way and will often “play-along” because I’ve noticed basically everyone refuses to be the first one to step out of their comfort zone and take a chance pal-ing around with a stranger but I can find a way to make most people comfortable and maybe even get a chuckle or 10.
Its been very good news for me and the good news for you is you can too, if only you do this ONE weird trick strangers love
I might smile at random strangers in the street.
yeah that would make me nervous
Usually, the nervous people won’t make eye contact. And it’s not really an ‘in your face’ contact i make, i try to be a bit subtle about it, if that makes sense. I never had anyone react as if it was unpleasant. For the record, it’s not like i am this extravert person, i am very introverted and i had to learn this. But it was worth it.
In my sixth psych ward visit i finally felt heard by therapists for the first time. I always had symptoms that overlapped with ADHD and pretty much everyone dismissed my problems as not relevant before that.
update: i finally got my diagnosis today. getting medicated now, lets see how they affect me
Nice! Do you feel comfortable sharing any more context or anything you wanna talk about? You can DM me or here or whatever
Edit: also, please, have yourself a good cry! And be gentle with you. You’ve come a long way, baby 😎😭
Edit: super picky small thing here but just give care to the way the language comes out sometimes. The “if you still care” thing is prolly completely innocent but it can be misheard or someone could take the more popular version espoused by Tony Soprano’s mother ;) aha
I felt the warmth of my cat cuddling next to me when I woke up this morning.
I saw the light of the moon shining into my bedroom.
I heard the buzz of traffic humming through my window.
I understood that I had to set my fantasy football lineup because I forgot to last night.
The last time I shared in my support group. I can go to a meeting right now on zoom and be heard, seen and understood. I never knew the importance of support until I found my support group. (I’m in a 12 step).
If you ever find yourself getting into problem area with it, please look into Sinclair method (naltrexone). Its an important and less well-known approach.
Edit: more alcohol directed but im sure it has other applications
I wish I could take a pill for my issues. I’m doing inner child work with a 12 step.
When my mom was still alive.
13 years ago.
