I just found out my best friend of over a decade is transphobic. I don’t really have more to say. I’m just devastated and feeling really alone.
I’m so sorry, sending love your way. People can change, and it may take you moving on from them and finding more loving and supportive community for that time happen, but it’s not something you can/should be expected to force. You deserve supportive people in your life! They’re out there and ready to accept you with open arms ❤️
hug sorry I don’t have more to offer.
I’m so sorry.
On the opposite side from what others are saying (though I don’t disagree with them), it’s not your responsibility to fix them or change their mind if it would risk your safety… even if you have the means. It’s a difficult position, and it could create even more resentment. You’re a part of your community, but you have to keep yourself safe, too.
i feel you! i found out my ex-bf (we still were friends, broke up in a good, mutual way) thought andrew tate or fresh & fit gave great advise and denied any misogyny whatsoever. my world was shook to the core, would never have guessed that. ig if you want you could try to talk to them, idk your situation but i couldn’t, i was way to upset. just know its fine to put yourself first and protect yourself, even if it means to cut someone of you cared so deeply about. also i want to say its not your fault for not realising it earlier, sometimes people change. i know for a fact my ex did, still gave myself a hard time over this. i hope you have other friends to help you through this time! 🫂❤️🩹
Hopefully they grow as a person and change in time.
Growing up in a fundamentalist Christian extremist family, it can be hard to rewrite one’s own objective moral code. It takes time and reflection to develop philosophically and emotionally independent of the socially isolated projected/pressured rigid stances that may have gone unquestioned since birth. It took me years of atheism to really take control of my own moral compass independent of any peer pressure and I’m sure I still have room to grow.
I don’t mean to project myself onto your friend. I just wanted to say, with some substance: Much love! People can change!
Agreed here, I didn’t think I was until later in life when it hit me that most of what I believed was just because a parent or the church told me to. Most of the time these people when confronted will double down on their beliefs because questioning anything that has been said by a pastor/priest means questioning their entire religion. Even just asking why it’s a bad thing causes them to retreat in and start loudly defending themselves because this is what the church teaches them to do. Warriors of god and all that indoctrination.
OP best thing IMO is to just state matter of factly that “Just because you believe this doesn’t mean everyone else does” (not questioning them or anything just clear messaging) and that it is offensive to you. They are trained to argue and defend themselves, shut that shit down. You can also avoid them, but it does push them further into their beliefs. Catch 22 there