didn’t we all grow up needing to be secretive? is it because of the adage of how ‘everyone thinks women are hot’ so like even straight women would get turned on more by their own moaning?
like as a guy i don’t even…have the impulse to involve my voice in it at all
I always thought it was purely social conditioning, but I’ve got a theory that just popped in my head. I wonder if women need to be more vocal to communicate “Yes that’s good, keep doing that”? Like frankly my partner is often in charge of pace, depth, and even calling for position changes. I’m letting him know with my noises how good something is for me, If you should keep doing it, or if I get quiet he knows to try something different. I don’t mind him being quiet at all, until I’m on top and then I’m like I literally cannot tell if this is good for you. I have to ask out loud “is that good?” And then change something, “is that good?” After a blow-job I have to ask him, what parts did you like more than the other parts? Obviously I can tell he’s into it overall, but It’s really hard to know if a rhythm or amount of pressure is better than another if moaning doesn’t increase when you try something. Like he can absolutely tell when he hits a good spot when fingering me because my moans make it very obvious. I will straight say, “yes,” “please,” “right there,” “don’t move.” All kinds of stuff. It’s not just about making it hotter for the other person, it’s about communicating how good something is for you so they don’t have to do as much guessing
I just figured the guy’s concentrating on keeping up the good work without blowing it.
I’ve also always thought it may have to do with social conditioning, but possibly on a non-sexual level. My thought is that guys are (generally) conditioned to be more quiet about intimate things, or things that are good, and more loud in “aggressive” situations. This fits well with the factual observation that men are less likely to talk about personal problems with a friend, and more likely to push the boundaries (be vocal) in an interview. In my head, it’s an extension of the “strong, silent” stereotype, which is often regarded as positive. Women, on the other hand, are (typically) socially conditioned to be more vocal about feelings in general. I wouldn’t be surprised if these conditionings bleed over into how vocal people are during sex.
With that said: I’m a guy, and my gf likes it when I make noises. Once I got used to it, I also learned to enjoy grunting. Grunting is highly recommended.
I make some noise, no idea how enjoyable it is for the other person, mostly alot of grunting or abusive language. It gets comedic when I’m like, “Yeah bitch, I’m gonna fuck that pussy all night.” Then I cum like 10 seconds later.
This is why lesbians have better sex.
You have fingers and a mouth, you don’t need to stop fucking all night after you cum.
As a straight, I wish I had fingers and a mouth. At least I can have multiple orgasms. Suck it, penis-owners!
As a straight, I wish I had fingers and a mouth.
Words cannot describe my confusion.
I’ve just realised you all saw the word lesbian and short circuited, deciding everything following that word was supposedly all about lesbians, and not about the dude who says he stops fucking after he cums.
Bruh. Try rereading my comment this way, it might make it easier for you to parse without your fantasy lesbians distracting you in the first sentence.
You have fingers and a mouth, you don’t need to stop fucking all night after you cum.
This is why lesbians have better sex.
The problem is more that cumming is the goal for many guys.
I may won’t last long when penetrating, but we still have fun for hours before and after it.
And I think that’s a point about how to approach sex, not about sexual identity
As a woman that sounds fucking exhausting. I finish as soon as I can and am not interested in going for hours. My boyfriend would want to buy I have sleep or snacks or games to get to. Heck, I’m fine not even finishing and I get annoyed he insists I do. Omg I’m so exhausted just thinking about it ugh.
Can you rephrase the question? I don’t understand what you’re trying to ask.
Trans woman here, and I can say from first hand experience that hormones change sexual response and desire. I’m guessing (and only guessing) that that is at least a part of the reason.
I know my own experience changed and i vocalise more, but even I can’t tell you why.
You know I’ve never really thought about it until now, but besides the hormones helping your body match who you are, do the hormones change anything mentally? I assume no personality changes, but I’ve wondered if things like senses, pain, temperature tolerance etc. change.
Edit: that’s wild y’all. thanks for the answers.
Oh goddess does the temperature tolerance change. Turns out the fat distribution matters a lot for that!
Also yeah there’s a line in the first altered carbon book about how for men, skin is armor, and for women, a sensory organ, and it’s a little exaggerated, but it’s pointing at a real thing.
Re personality: that’s harder to judge, because you have so much going on. It’s a major change in your life, you’re altering how you and the world interact with each other, so it would be hard to avoid your personality going through a rock to mud transition and shifting, but I think there’s definitely some shift towards social responsibility, yeah. Obviously there isn’t an exact measurement, but I think it’s pretty common.
I’ve never heard about women’s skin being generally more sensitive, that’s really interesting! I always thought the difference in temperature tolerance had to do with women having a thicker sub-skin fat layer (might not be the correct English term for “underhudsfett”). Have you noticed any other physiological changes that you think can be attributed to the transition?
Sorry if I’m a bit direct, I just think the biology of the human body is fascinating, and I’ve never really before thought of the insight that we can get from people that have experienced “both sides” of the spectrum, so to speak.
I just want to say that I was on the fence about Lemmy but reading this very interesting thread about changes to the human body being explained by reference to sci-fi confirmed for me that this is a cool place that I will enjoy visiting. Thank you.
Skin sensitivity, smell, taste, posture, temperature tolerance, it can all change!
Cis, but I’ve heard that MtF typically your vision becomes more sensitive to color differences, and FtM it becomes more sensitive to shapes and outlines.
So personality changes in the same way antidepressants have them. But yeah the rest absolutely. I became more scent over vision, increased pain tolerance relative to mental state (but happy has way less physical pain tolerance than dead inside so it’s not necessarily an increase), and everything is too damn cold
Dude, got a tip for you. Make some noise. She’ll love it.
Because of this : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_copulatory_vocalizations
Thank you for posting this. I knew a woman’s orgasm had a purpose in insemination but vocalizations indicating the best time for male ejaculation makes sense.
And about a billion times more sense than some of the nonsense posted in this thread.
A lot of that bs has been disproven. Orgasm plays next to no reproductive function (beyond, ya know, incentivising us to wanna bone)
Recent studies have shown that just as likely women have other reasons to use their voice during sex. For example to boost their partners self-esteem, etc.
Please don’t just save in your head “women moan to indicate best time for ejaculation”.
Fair enough! I was looking at that Wikipedia entry and that’s where I got that but I’m open to other non-cavewoman-gangbang answers.
Personally I’m loud every second I’m having fun and I can’t say I know of any scientific weapon for it. But it’d be nice for that to be more optional than it is!
Dude you extrapolated some crazy stuff about cave woman orgies that are in no way supported by this link.
On the other hand, recent studies have indicated that most copulatory vocalizations in women do not accompany their own orgasm, but rather their partner’s ejaculation. The study showed that the man typically finds the woman’s vocalization arousing and highly exciting, and that the woman herself is aware of this.
