211 points

Fuck this guy so much.

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50 points
*

uh, not a chance in his imaginary hell

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12 points

He’s somebody’s type. Oh no, Mitch McConnell is too. I need brain bleach now

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12 points

Oh no, Mitch McConnell is too

Part of the ol’ lemon party org.

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5 points

Fucking Mitch McConnell might qualify as necrophilia

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1 point

They’re perfect for each other!

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8 points

Yeah that’s a no from me too. I don’t want to shag evil, I want to defenestrate evil.

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6 points

Well it should definitely mellow him out a bit

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140 points

Mike Johnson: “Look it’s not my fault that I’m making this country shitty, it is those pesky LGBTQ+ people.”

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47 points

So where in his Scooby Doo story do we pull off his mask and reveal the raging homosexual that he is…not that there’s anything wrong with that….just wanna see the hypocrisy on full display

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68 points

Not all bigots are secretly gay. Some are just hate filled assholes. Most are hate filled assholes.

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26 points

$20 says he likes weiner

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4 points

I think you misspelled “ate” as “are hate”.

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1 point

Yeah, it’s a good distinction to make purely because this may help their backwards narrative. I mean, this guy is a horrible human being. Wouldn’t it be convenient for those who agree with him to label him as the thing he’s attacking?

Still… There are some indoctrinated, self-hating gay people out there. The people who push the message he’s pushing are really good at ruining vulnerable individuals. It’s horribly sad, and unquestionably awful.

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35 points

This is the problem, like I’m fine if he was really going to let God do the punishing, but they all wanna take his job

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2 points

Little mike johnson is living in his own personal HELL on earth where he makes shit up and thinks he hears god.

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1 point

That’s right out of the Nazi playbook. These people, when cornered, will simply recite Bible versus at you as the reason for their malice.

It’s not inappropriate, I guess… The Bible is full of some pretty horrible and malicious things masked as righteousness.

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131 points

Johnson then wrote that he worries that “our culture has fallen so far” since the United States’ founding in 1776. “I fear America may be beyond redemption,” he adds.

Since 1776? The year of the signing of the Declaration of Independence? I would think America got quite a bit better since then. I can think of just a few things that have made it better like:

  • 1787 Creation and signing of the US Constitution including that 1st Amendment including the words “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.”
  • 1865 13th Amendment abolished slavery in the United States
  • 1870 15th Amendment granting black men the right to vote.
  • 1920 19th Amendment to the Constitution granted women the right to vote and was ratified by the states

If Mike Johnson sees these things as a decline of the United States since the Declaration of Independence, he is saying he is seeing other besides white men gaining the ability to vote as a bad thing.

Republicans, your chosen Speaker of the House sees the Constitution of the United States as a negative thing!

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42 points

Back in the good ol’ days where you were committed to a mental institution if found masterbating.

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28 points

If you were a man. Women were committed over far less

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14 points

I was just listening to the recent Behind the Bastards episodes on the Holy Roller cult from Oregon in 1900 and those motherfuckers were having women committed for refusing to wear a hat/cover their hair.

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10 points
*

Pretty sure in the 1700’s if they though you were cuckoo, they just strung you up from a tree

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13 points

Probably that, too.

The thing is about 20 years ago I toured a preserved colonial town in New England (I forget the name, it was in Virginia) and there was a book on display which was an inpatient log for a mental ward. And some of the entries’ reason for admission was “masterbation”.

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5 points

Bedlam Hospital opened in 1330.

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5 points

Depends. If you were crazy and they thought you were harmful, then probably yes. They also had sanitariums.

It was also not densely populated. It was pretty easy to simply banish someone and they would just fuck off to be on their own.

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0 points

Now we get people doctorbating unpunished.

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18 points

I mean tbf his ilk are really yearning for those articles of confederation days now that the tide on federation is beginning a grindingly slow turn against them

Something the sheer degree to which Millennials and Gen Z have embraced the cause of Palestine is probably putting into an extremely sharp focus as of late.

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5 points

If Mike Johnson sees these things as a decline of the United States since the Declaration of Independence, he is saying he is seeing other besides white men gaining the ability to vote as a bad thing.

Oh you know that’s exactly what he’s thinking!

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5 points

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

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2 points

He 100% believes that

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2 points

When it got worse was when Nixon sold out the population in the 70ies.

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105 points

If God is punishing us, he’s doing it by sending a plague of Republicans.

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11 points

Is that one the plague of snakes?

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99 points

As House Speaker, it is not your job to speak on behalf of God.

Perhaps leave that to the popes.

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35 points

He’s Baptist, not Catholic. He doesn’t give a damn what the Pope says.

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24 points

The point remains. He is in no way an authority within the Baptist church, let alone someone that can speak for God according to that religion.

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