joke going around about silicon valley during height of dot com, something like 1:10 female to male ratio – “The odds are good but the goods are odd.”
I went to an engineering college and apparently that saying has been around for quite a while
For some reason I get ads promising ugly women. Does that mean I’m hot?
The moral of this story is actually to use firefox so you don’t get ads 😁
“If the women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.”
-Red Green
I have a hypothesis I can’t really test because I’m not into men, but I feel like more men are unattractive than women. I’m going to guess it’s because a lot of men put zero effort in.
Men who put in effort on their looks more than the bare minimum often get made fun of and compared women thanks to toxic masculinity.
Sure there’s effort like good hair and beard. But if they try putting on makeup to cover up blemishes or brighten their face? They get called alot of nasty things and emasculated.
If you look at men’s products for hair,it’ll be 5-in-1 products that don’t actually work but can pass because a lot of men are either bald or have short/thin hair. If you look at deodorants, they almost always have the same smell which is the same smell as the afformentioned 5-in-1. I hate this smell personally. I did find an oldspice scent I really liked and then when i looked up the comments, it was a bunch of these insecure men bitching about how a man’s product was so fruity and girly and for women/gay men. And I’m like… aren’t you trying to smell nice in order to appeal to women? Why is a scent that appeals to women a bad thing in that case???
I agree with a lot of this but I’m a bit iffy when it comes to makeup. I think that the normalized use of makeup for women has put unhealthy expectations and pressures on women to look different rather than accepting someone’s actual appearance. I don’t think extending that to men would be a good idea and in my mind it would likely only increase these pressures.
Of course people are allowed to like makeup and use it for different reasons, including covering up blemishes, but a lot of people feel the need to spend an hour putting on makeup every morning just to be accepted and I think that’s really bad.
Most women prefer a natural look. They don’t go around looking like geisha. Only a handful have any obvious makeup makeup and it might be a bit of eyeshadow or something. Usually it’s the smoothen the face, brighten the face, or hide blemishes. Sure some women go above and beyond but usually this is for special occasions.
Yes women do have problems with having to look youthful and beautiful and perfect and yes makeup is partof that. But makeup is only a symptom not the cause.
This may be related to the male variability hypothesis. Males tend to show more variance from the mean for traits with a normal distribution. So for attractiveness, you are more likely to find both particularly attractive and particularly unattractive men than women, since the latter are going to mostly fall closer to the baseline level.
But personally, I agree the difference between putting in effort or not can have a bigger difference for men.
I think the most attractive women are the ones who put no effort into it.
Have you seen that Hotel Hell episode with the two sisters? One is ridiculously beautiful with no effort, and the other is just ‘meh’ with tons of effort.
If you think ‘effort’ makes you pretty, it’s probably because you’re ugly.
I have not seen it, but in some cases one might confuse effortless effort for visible effort.
Effortless effort is pretty universally appealing in most facets of life. The person who casually rides a bike up a hill generally looks better than someone who’s pumping and struggling.
In my mind, with appearance, someone who looks like they’re trying too hard often suffers that as a penalty to how they’re evaluated. But the person who did put effort in without it being obvious will probably come out ahead.
See also: men who say women look better without makeup. Woman comes in to work without makeup. Men respond with “oh my God are you ok? You look unwell”. The woman was wearing makeup, but it was subtle and men didn’t notice.
Though there’s also the halo effect and intimacy. Someone in sweatpants can ping as Hot because that signals intimacy. Different facet of the evaluation.
Someone who’s really good at guitar will ping Hot because of the halo effect. That is- when someone is good at one thing, we think they’re good at everything, where being hot is a thing.
This has been true around here since I was in high school (or that’s when I noticed) but once you get as old as I am now it’s different, only the people who took care of themselves look good and the distribution is more equal. So I don’t think guys are putting zero effort in, maybe as regards style but they must be maintaining their bodies at about the same rate, exercise and diet wise.